Mess-Free Shaving WIth King Of Shaves Hyperglide Razors

King of Shaves calls their new Hyperglide shaverrevolubetionary”. Every razor now has a lubricating strip. As guys know, this can get a bit messy. These Hyperglides, on the other hand, have a lubricating gel that activates with water and eliminates that gooey mess.

Their patented system came about from a design that reduced friction from inserting catheters into arteries. Which is pretty amazing that they now use this technology for razors.

Bacon Condoms: For Flavorful Meat

Our apologies; last week we incorrectly stated that we had seen every possible bacon product possible. Now we’ve seen it all. J&D’s Bacon Condoms ($10) are made of the highest quality latex, so your girlfriend’s hopes that this is simply a novelty product will be crushed like a Corolla at a monster truck show. Plus each condom also comes with a generous slathering of Baconlube inside it, so if your lady doesn’t like bacon, it’s time to look for a new lady.

STACK Infinity Bar Soap: New Life for Old Soap Slivers

When you’re not in a prison shower, bar soap is great. It’s manly. It’s rectangular. And since it is soap, it’s never dirty. But, when you finally wear that bar down to just a sliver, things get real dicey. STACK Infinity Bar Soap ($12.56 for a pack of 6) is specifically designed to avoid the pitfalls of tiny, slippery soap by letting you stack your little sliver on top of the next fresh bar. A specially shaped groove and grippy, raised lettering form the perfect soapy union. Coming soon to a jail near you?

Philips Sonicare DiamondClean

It’s tough to improve on the ol’ toothbrush. It has bristles. You put paste on it. You rub it on your teeth once a week. But the Philips Sonicare DiamondClean does indeed move the needle forward. Forget about the 44% more bristles than the standard brush (well, don’t forget about it, but don’t spend all day thinking about it). Instead, spend all day thinking about how the glass charging station doubles as a mouth rinsing cup! Yes! Brush, rinse, charge. Your weekly routine has now been simplified.

Fancy Black Soap by Hudson Made

The first rule to selling Fancy Black Soap ($16.50) is to make sure it’s 100% fancy. Hudson Made checks that box thanks to the soap being derived from nubian goat’s milk and mineral-rich volcanic clay. Nubian freaking goat’s milk, people.  They didn’t just go to the local petting zoo and get some cranky Capra aegagrus hircus to squirt in a jar. No. They got a nubian. The soap is lightly scented with essential oils, making it a great match for dry skin.

Dude Wipes

Us guys aren’t exactly known for our cleanliness. I once used two spritzes of Armor All to freshen up my pits after an invigorating game of air hockey. So with that in mind comes Dude Wipes ($10 for a box of 30). These moist towelettes give you a portable way to tidy up with a fresh-scented blend of Vitamin E and Aloe on a man-sized disposable sheet. Does this mean you can dwindle down your showers from five a week to three? I’m gonna say yes.

5 Non-Sexual Ways to Please Your Dad for Father’s Day

From the moment you came out of your mother’s womb, your dad was right there–watching the Dodgers and the Padres on the waiting room TV. And once the game was over (San Diego won 6-2), and after he caught Johnny Carson’s monologue, and as soon as he took a quick leak, he came into the delivery room, took you in his arms, and looked deep into your eyes with pride, amazement, and great expectations for your future.

But carrying your father’s hopes and dreams can be a burden. He wants you to be rich and famous, while you’re pretty much content to just be eye crust-free in public. If pleasing pops on this Father’s Day remains a goal of yours – but not, say, a higher goal than avoiding freezer-burned sherbet – follow these five unique, non-sexual steps for making the old man happy.

Now start clicking that “next” link you ungrateful swine. Image via Flickr/Kalexanderson

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Whiskey Dick Lube

If you read last month’s issue of Cosmopolitan, you know today’s modern woman enjoy a penis that smells like bourbon (bacon ranks a close second). With Whiskey Dick ($11.99), you get old-time bourbon-flavored lube and massage oil, so you can save the good stuff for drinking and not pouring on your genitals. The funsters at Epic Meal Time are the ones to thank for the parade of punany that will be stepping your way once you equip your nightstand with this secret sauce.