Panasonic Shaver with Stubble Detector: Face Time

Since the calendar just hit 11/1, prepare yourself for the annual deluge of electric razor ads. Yes, the holiday season always brings on this phenomenon, and this year, Panasonic’s new ES-LV65-S is aiming to win the shaver war by more than a whisker. Loaded with a 5-blade cutting system, this waterproof device also boasts a stubble detector. The built-in sensor promises to gauge the density of your 5:00 shadow and automatically adjust the motor’s speed accordingly. We’re hearing the ES-LV65-S will cost $450, so you use this Movember thing as a chance to save up.

Bolin Webb X1 Razor: Kinda Like A Ferrari For Your Face

Need fancy car-like performance for your face? Who doesn’t. The British-made Bolin X1 ($105) brings sleek lines and a handle that’s actually finished with automotive paint to your shaving game. Use it with Gillette Fusion cartridges and complete the pimp-my-razor process by picking up the matching magnetic stand.

Harry’s Shaving Blade and Razors: You’ve Been Granted An Extension

While the makers of men’s razors are notorious for dabbling in hyperbole, rarely do you hear them brag about their unit’s handle. But the Truman ($10) shines the spotlight directly on it. A curved rod of zinc alloy forms the solid base, with a blend of high-quality polymers and waterproof lacquer covering the exterior. Or try the Winston ($20), a precision grade aluminum similar in material to those in planes. Harry’s says it all about comfort and control and that you should think of either as an extension of your hand–one long, sharp, not-entirely-safe-for-me-time hand.

Bacon Shaving Cream

We’ve all been there: you’re shaving your face and stuffing it with bacon at the same time when the fat juices start to dribble down your chin, making for a bizarre scent mixture of menthol and smoked meat–not appealing. Bacon Shaving Cream ($14.99) from J&D solves that problem. This luxurious foam is perfect for all skin types and all types of bacon-lovers. This stuff has rich moisturizers, essential oils, and “advanced heat-activated aromatic technology” that makes your face smell like bacon. What the freak else do you need?

Blade Buddy

At this stage in your life you could really use a good friend–a “buddy” if you will. But who says that friend has to be human? Blade Buddy ($20) won’t annoy you with requests to help him move, but he will greatly increase the life of your disposable razors. Just 15 or 20 upward swipes on your new friend’s micro-honing grooved surface and you’ll be getting near-new sharpness on that blade. With all that money-saving help and no Xbox Live trash talk, don’t rule out Blade Buddy taking the lead in your Top 5.

Prospector Co. Shaving Kit

After an arduous day of gold panning in the streams of 1840’s California, a prospector such as yourself has most likely sprouted quite the formidable beard. Secure your donkey to the nearest tree and get a-barberin’ with the Prospector Co. Tester Vials Shaving Kit ($16). The kit includes a sampling of Miss Annie Jones Shaving Oil, followed up with either K.C. Atwood or Peary & Henson Aftershave Splash. Make sure to comb out any flapjack residue and squirrel gristle before applying Burrough’s Beard Oil, though, or you might look the darned fool. When all the beard croppin’ and fancy groomin’ is complete, you’ll be ready to winnow for hours in search of precious, precious gold. GOLD!

Bourbon Aftershave by Nevermore Body

If your Old Spice aftershave isn’t cutting it, consider Nevermore Body Company’s Bourbon Aftershave. Imagine rising like a phoenix out of a barrel of bourbon, lightly scented with oak and apple aged in roasted caramel and vanilla. Smell that? That’s sex appeal. The scent may sound strong, but don’t worry, no one’s gonna be asking “Dude, did you just get back from the bar?” Instead, you’ll be the office’s new Don Draper. What are you waiting for? You should be dumping this all over your face by now.

BAXTER X PORTER Grooming Implements

If you don’t own a grooming kit, shame on you. There’s nothing like a well-groomed man, and let’s face it…who wants to see random hairs flailing uncontrollably from your nose, ears or any other part of your body that doesn’t have  rippling muscles underneath it. And for the love of all that’s holy, please take some pride in your finger nails. Thankfully, the new Baxter x Porter Grooming Limited Edition Kit has the tools you need to get groomed, all included in an elegant, durable twill case. From stainless steel nail clippers to tweezers, this grooming case has all the grooming essentials, individually sharpened and tested for accuracy and effectiveness. No more excuses, men. Now you can stay nice and tidy all the time. Mom would be proud. Available at Baxter of California for $140.