Salt Made From Real Human Tears

For about 2,000 years, everyone agreed that plain old salt was good enough. Then suddenly and without warning, it had to be “sea salt”–even on the Wendy’s dollar menu. But nation, I think we can all agree it’s now time for another change. Yes, it’s time for salt made from human tearsHoxton Street Monster Supplies allows you to season your bland beef and flavorless fish with tears wept from anger, sorrow, laughter, sneezing, or chopping onions. The emotions and their corresponding tastes are nearly endless (fine, there’s five). Coming soon: Salt made from tears while crying about your quarterback.

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