It’s about time someone used wax for more than just candles and “waxing that ass.” What does that mean, anyway? Not sure, but mine is definitely due. New from boat (short for be optimistic and thankful) is the Sealed Watch; a colorful unisex wristwatch with a face made out of sealing wax. The stuff is melted onto the dial and stamped to chronological perfection, letting you tell the time through the age-old power of wax. Yes, back in the 1300s, wax watches were all the rage, until they started melting on hot days. Perhaps this is a good time to mention that this problem still persists. Yep, if the face of this watch is subjected to anything above 140 degrees, you’re gonna need another one. You will also need SPF 40,000,000. They make that now. Ask for the “good stuff” at Walgreens.