Swash 1000 Bidet Toilet Seat

Tom Brady enjoys having fresh and clean buttocks, so should you. While the Pats QB recently impressed his WR Wes Welker with a bidet in his home, you too can achieve cute glutes with the Swash 1000 ($600). This fine piece of equipment gets attached to your toilet and provides a “refreshing” spray of water in just the right spot – OK, it’s your anus – along with warm air to dry things out and temperature controls. Keep in mind though, the no-slam seat means no matter how excited you are after dropping the browns off at the super bowl, you won’t be able to spike the lid in celebration.

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