Smart Bedding For Lazy People

Introducing an invention for people with money to burn or lazy people. The makers of Smart Bedding use a bunch of, well, buttons basically, to keep the top sheet and duvet cover in line. They want to solve the hassles of sheets bunching up while you sleep and tucking oversized top sheets under your bed. Ooook…Preorder here.

Baseball Glove Scented Soap

Take your love of baseball from the field to the shower. Try out this Baseball Glove Scented Soap ($7) and go from smelling like Dove to smelling like a Glove. Hey oohh!

Nintendo 64 Cartridge Soaps

Every morning (or night) when you shower, remind yourself of the good ol’ days. Take a bar of a Nintendo 64 Cartridge Soap ($17) in your hands, close your eyes and think back to the times of Mario Kart, The Legend of Zelda and Donkey Kong 64. All those afternoons with no pressure, no responsibilities, just you, the mushrooms and an oversized gorilla throwing barrels. Then, your girlfriend interrupts you mid-dream: “Why are you fondling that soap?” Uhh, nothing, nothing at all.

Touchless Toilet Means No Nasty Handles To Touch

The bathroom has to be one of the filthiest places in the world. Not just what we do there, but all the invisible germs lurking about on the handles, knobs and walls. Take a blacklight to a bathroom wall next time. Prepare to be sickened.

Kohler gives users a chance to eliminate ever needing to touch their toilet handle. The Kohler Touchless Toilet comes as a kit or pre-installed toilet. While self-flushing toilets aren’t anything new, Kohler’s model for the home relies on electromagnetic technology. The toilet senses the user’s hand over the toilet and proceeds to give that bowl a nice swirl.

The kit runs about $100. Installation is a breeze and runs on 4AA batteries, which last 6-12 months (depending on usage of course). Hopefully, they invent voice-activated flushing next. Siri, flush my bowl. Siri, wipe my butt. Siri..I’m..so alone.

The Body Dryer. Because Towels Are So Yesterday.

Towels. Pssh. True ballers have women wave palm leaves really, really quickly to dry them off after showering. You, though, may not be a true baller, so here’s the next best thing. The Body Dryer ($250). Stand on a bathroom-scale looking contraption and it shoots hot or cold air straight up. It’s like a hand dryer for your whole body. Seriously, this took way too long to come to the market. Close your eyes and imagine it’s the gentle hands of a thousand women flapping really fast.

It’s A Sarlacc In Your Toilet

How many business ideas start with the phrase “toss Boba Fett down the Sarlacc pit”? Well, at least one. Robbie Rane made the Toilet Sarlacc ($25) set of toilet decals that you slap onto your porcelain. Drop an unknown intergalactic object into the sarlacc and watch it swallow it up. Just don’t leave tiny shadow troopers behind.

Who’s That Creepy Old Man In The Shower?

The Nosferatu Shower Curtain ($70) celebrates a love for all that’s ghoulish. Who needs Mickey Mouse and flowers on shower curtains when an old school vampire will do. Girls will love coming over and using the bathroom, and seeing some old creepy man in the shower. Ask them to then chill out on your zombie bedcovers.

Dutchtub Wood Outdoor Hot Tub

Keep those winter parties going with the Dutchtub Wood. This outdoor hot tub seats four and maintains a constant warmness with coil-fired heating. Place this in an open field and enjoy the vastness of nature, looking out on neverending fields. Or put this in the back of your patio and enjoy staring up through your neighbor’s windows.