Jiva Instant Coffee Cubes

Instant coffee tastes gross most of the time. Now though, get high quality, instant coffee cubes from Jiva Coffee. They recently introduced their Jiva Coffee Cubes ($5 for a 4-pack) last year. Gourmet, freeze-dried coffee beans that you drop into milk or water and stir. Get a variety of flavors from Classic to Caramel Hot Chocolate. They’ve also returned with a Kickstarter for two new flavors: green tea and lemonade. Check them out here.

Temple of Doom Monkey Brains Bowl

Now you can reenact Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom by serving guests chilled monkey brains with this Monkey Brains Bowl ($59). Of course, you probably don’t have monkey brains. Instead, serve jello or pudding in this bowl. It’ll make a fine substitute.

The Popinator: Say ‘Pop’ to Shoot Popcorn into your Mouth

The company Popcorn, Indiana makes some damn fine popcorn, but they’ve done raised their game to a ridiculous new level. Introducing the Popinator, a voice-activated popcorn shooter that sends a delicious kernel into the air every time you say “Pop.” The fully automated machine can pinpoint wherever the magic words were spoken from and then send the popcorn soaring in that direction, all from up to 15 feet away. So what happens if you say “hop” or “cop” instead of pop? I suppose worst case scenario, a piece of unintended popcorn is flung your way. Better leave room for it.

Ad Hoc Fried Chicken Kit

Somewhere out there is a guy who prefers his women clothed, his playoff games blacked out, and his chicken boiled. Until we find that guy, we’ll keep requesting our chicken come fried. The Buttermilk Fried Chicken Kit Ad Hoc ($17) is the creation of renowned chef Thomas Keller. It contains the lemon-herb brine and savory coating mix you need to turn your limp bird into a luscious bastion of fried flavor. Boiled chicken. Ha!

Bacon Olive Oil

Sometimes (twice a year) you don’t want big, meaty chunks of bacon in your vegetable stir-fry. Sometimes you just want the essence of it; a reminder, if you will, that although bacon’s formidable being is not included in this particular meal, its spirit is omnipresent. If all that new age mumbo jumbo just threw you for a loop, here’s the deal: buy this Bacon Olive Oil ($14.99) and you can lube your pan with the taste of bacon before every meal.

Automatic Pizza Delivery Order Button

The last thing you need at a time like this is the hassle of ordering a pizza online, or – god forbid – by the phone. And leave it Pizza Hut Domino’s Papa Johns Red Tomato Pizza in New York  Chicago Italy Dubai to come up with the killer app. The VIP Fridge Magnet gets you a pie with just the simple press of a button. You do find button-pressing simple, don’t you? Geez. This little dynamo uses a Bluetooth connection to put an order in based on your previous preferences, then sends a confirmation text to make sure you really mean it. Before you can text back “Of course I mean it!” BAM! Pizza guy is all knocking at your door and stuff.

Satan’s Rage Hot Sauce – Made with Ghost Peppers

If you’re one to play with fire, then Satan’s Rage Hot Sauce, made with the newly discovered Ghost Pepper, is one crazy ride on the highway to hell! Experience the titillating wrath of Satan’s Rage with the burning sensation that can only come from the world’s hottest pepper, the Ghost Pepper. Just be sure to locate the exit signs, (two “R”, two “L”) and be sure you have a clear bee line to the bathroom. This deliciously painful Indian pepper will burn as much coming out as it did going in, but boy oh boy is it worth it! After all, not many people can say they survived Satan’s Rage.

SeriousMilk Chocolate By TCHO

Satisfy your sweet tooth and your conscience with SeriousMilk chocolate by TCHO. TCHO, a socially conscience chocolate manufacturer, has scoured Ecuador and Peru for the best cacao beans. You need milk for milk chocolate, and genetics and terroir impacts milk’s flavor. To produce the highest quality of chocolate, TCHO found locally raised cows, free to graze year round in open pastures untouched by harmful, synthetic chemicals.

SeriousMilk comes in two flavors: cacao and classic. With cacao, you get a flavor in between dark and milk chocolate with “subtle cream and warm caramel notes”. Choose classic for a smooth, creamy chocolate with “hints of butterscotch, honey and vanilla”. Sample packs are available for $11 here.