Foldylocks: These Locks Fit Just Right

Space on bike frames are at a premium. Foldylock ($95) understands that. It folds down from its 90 cm unfolded size to fit on the inside of the frame or in a backpack. Mount it easily to a bike frame’s bottle holder fixing screws. Six hardened steel links make up the lock for strong protection. Plus, it looks stellar.

Lightskin Bike Post Seat Lights: Shiny Happy Bicyclists

One of the problems with most tail lights for bicycles is that they frequently get stolen by bad guys. Since attaching a piranha fish tank to your bike seat is outlawed in 49 of the 50 states (stay gutsy, Maine!), the next best way to avoid theft and let cars see you at night is the LightSKIN integrated bike post seat lights. The LEDs are easily embedded inside the seatpost, making them perfect for alerting nighttime drivers of your presence, while staying off the radar of crooks.

Elk & Iceberg Bike Hangers

While I haven’t seen any news coverage about an army of aggressive cockroaches developing poison fangs yet, still, that’s not the the kinda thing you wanna wait on the unreliable news media to get around to. Protect your bicycle from ravenous roach teeth with these solid oak Bike Hangers ($240-$295). They mount to the wall and will safely hang your bicycle out of harm’s way, securing top tubes up to 1.58-inches thick. If two new bike hangers (here’s the other one) aren’t a sign of an impending invasion by these insidious insects, I don’t know what is.

Torch FLUX Backpack

It’s impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, since it’s hard enough trying to follow directions at regular speeds. With that said, the Torch Flux Backpack ($120) endows you with an LED fiber optic panel that emits more than enough light to continually flash people from your bicycle (as I do on the weekends) at breakneck velocity. The backpack itself is made of 1000 Denier Cordura Nylon with a Tarpaulin vinyl coated polyester lining and, not to mention, water-proof. Which is comforting, since I like to clean the crumbs out of my backpacks with a hose.

Carrera Foldable Helmet

The bike helmet is that tricky piece of gear. It’s highly capable of looking ridiculous on your noggin, but then again, it’s also your best bet at sidestepping brain damage (besides avoiding reality dating shows). Carrera’s new foldable helmet aims to make head protection a stylish and versatile endeavor, as this helmet stretches to fit your head, then shrinks down to a size you can easily carry.

InCOG Biketool

Pedaling down the street with a sack of tools sounds like something Lance Armstrong would do to train for a race, and let’s face it, you’re no Lance Armstrong–you’re Larry Armstrong, accountant from Cleveland, Ohi–what? You’re not Larry? Sorry. Please, keep reading though, because the InCOG Biketool ($60) by Joshua Brassé lets you avoid that bulky scenario stated above and store a valuable multi-tool inside your handlebars. A tamper-resistant friction lock & custom key design means thieves won’t sashay away with your stuff. Again, sorry about that whole Larry Armstrong mix up. Won’t happen again, Larry–dammit!