Stinky Scented Candles Fill Your Home With Gasoline, Bacon, Among Other Smells

When that special lady visits for the first time, set the right mood. Let the sweet scent of gasoline permeate the air. If gasoline doesn’t get that girl’s motor revvin’ (pun intended), Stinky Candles ($7) offers many other aromas to entice. Choose from tens (not tons) of flavors: fresh cut grass, body odor, exhaust (not to be confused with an engine oil scent). They’re all here. Light the money-scented candle and watch her sniff the familiar smell. “Is that..dollar bills I smell?” she’ll ask. “Why yes it is. Freshly minted.” Bow chikka wah wah.

Two Stroke Smoke Candle

A two stroke candle might conjure up the wrong image, but relax, we’re talking about engines and racing here. The folks at Flying Tiger Motorcyles made the Two Sroke Smoke Candle ($20) with real Blendzall Racing Castor 2 stroke oil. Light it up and the scent of high octane racing fills the air. Close your eyes and imagine speeding down the track. Then, wake up to your girlfriend asking why the bedroom smells like a mechanic’s garage. Oh well.

Fried Chicken Candle: Can You Smell What Kentucky Is Cooking?

Driving to KFC for the smells is like, I dunno, listening to Pink for the deep lyrics. Point is, the entrancing aromas of fried chicken are best served in the home, and if you’re afraid of hot grease splatters in your nether regions (you do cook naked, right?), you’re gonna need one of these Fried Chicken Candles. Handmade by Kentuckian Kathy Werking, the recipe calls for actually frying up some chicken in natural soy wax, then adding a special blend of ‘family secrets.’ Want more Kentucky? The vanilla-bourbon and mint combo of Kentucky Derby is also available.

PyroPet Candles: Kitty Kitty Burn Burn

Candles are always good solid holiday gifts—no one will love them, but no one will throw them back at your neck either. But give your loved one a PyroPet ($22) candle this year and you may just win Christmas MVP. It starts out as a simple cat-shaped candle, but as the wax melts it reveals a sinister steel skeleton. Spooky. Designers Thorunn Arnadottir and Dan Koval are clearly a little disturbed, and that is officially now how we like our candles.

Future Forward

Introducing Future Forward. Ideas yet to hit the marketplace, stewing in someone’s mind or lab somewhere. When they hit though, they’ll make our lives a little better or slightly more swagworthy. And we know everyone can use more swagginess.

This week, beer and cars. Is there really anything else better in life? Just don’t mix the two. Don’t drink and drive. Especially if you have a really expensive car.

1. Hangover Free Beer

Who doesn’t want to get plastered without next morning repercussions? Certainly not some scientists in Australia, currently working on hangover free beer. By adding electrolytes, they’ve concocted beer that both hydrates and maintains the pleasant qualities of beer, i.e. beer goggles and regretful decisions. According to the folks at Griffith University’s Health Institute, the electrolytes mean you can even drink beer after a workout to replenish lost liquid.

ManCans Candles

Stop the presses! We recently highlighted some candles aimed at the hairier sex, but it appears someone may have beaten Yankee Candle to the punch; and that someone just hit puberty. ManCans ($9.50) are actually made by a teenage boy in Ohio. Hart Main has been using recycled soup cans for more than a year now to offer up such scents as Fresh Cut Grass, Bacon, New Mitt, and Grandpa’s Pipe. I suppose if you burned all of them at once it’d smell like a backyard game of catch with gramps while he was chewing bacon and smoking a pipe. That man was amazing.

Man Candles

If machismo has kept you from partaking in the majesty of scented candles all these years, we’re so sorry: you’ve missed out on having your garage smell like “Pineapple Vanilla Cupcake.” But Yankee Candle has finally come around to catering to your type with a new series of Man Candles. Choose from “Riding Mower,” “2×4,” “First Down,” and oh boy, “Man Town.” Ya know I spent a night in Man Town back in ’89… best night of my life… smelled great.

Odin Home Fragrance Series

Your balled-up jockey shorts in the corner and that musty funk percolating in the air? So not sexy. Get the mood right with the new Home Fragrance Series by Odin. Each candle contains slate-colored wax, hand poured into a sleek translucent black glass. Light these bad boys up and appeal to the sight and smell of your special someone. Purchase here.