Perfect Prizes for the Primary Politicians

Super Tuesday 2012, the Super Bowl of the Republican Primary, hits today. Watch the candidates outdo each other as they tell us which bold new programs and promises they’ll ultimately fail to implement if elected. Who will fail us the least? Now’s the time to choose.

In honor of the combatants, we’ve assembled the perfect prize for each candidate to take home should they win. Delegates? We fart on your delegates. This is the real competition, my friend. Click through to read So Freaking Cool’s “Perfect Prizes for the Primary Politicians”.

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Canon PowerShot G1 X

So you’re thinking of sneaking into the women’s locker room, huh? I like your moxie, kid. But riddle me this: Are you gonna pull off the crime of the century decade week day half-hour without a fast and focused point-and-shoot in your pants? A camera, we’re talking about a camera here, perv. Next month, Canon has you covered with the release of the PowerShot G1 X, a 14.3-megapixel shooter with a 1.5-inch (18.7 x 14mm) sensor, which Canon says is the largest sensor ever in a PowerShot camera. Plunk down $799.99 for this memory-saver and you’ll get an ISO range up to 12,800, aperture range from f/2.8 to f/16, 4x optical zoom from 28-112mm, and a 922,000-dot 3-inch LCD from which you can “surveil” the goings on in the aforementioned location.