Jagermeister Spice: Delivering Eggnog’s TKO This Fall

We think we may have found the alternative to eggnog as the go-to adult beverage this holiday season; ya know the one that makes whichever party you’re at suddenly bearable. Train your taste buds on Jägermeister Spice, a new limited-time offering that promises “a delightful blend of cinnamon and vanilla spices married with the legendary ingredients found in the original secret Jägermeister.” We would say “Ask for it at your next holiday gathering,” but since it’s gonna have a limited run, you’re better off just sneaking in a bottle in your trousers.

Christmas Dinner in a Can

It seems like 90% of the stress involved with the holidays comes from food. Your Aunt Linda’s Mushroom Pop Rocks just always seem to piss people off. Forget the hassles of home-cooked meals and simplify things this year with Christmas Dinner in a Can ($9.59). Turkey casserole with all the trimmings is just 12 minutes away, as you simply remove the rubber cap, pierce the holes, and open the insulated can to set off the exothermic reaction that heats up your best Christmas dinner ever! Now who’s gonna break the news to Aunt Linda? Let Santa do it.