1940s Gymnasium Clock: Middle School Memories Sans Wedgies

These days, wandering into a middle school gymnasium for a sampling of childhood nostalgia will simply get you arrested. A much safer and functional way to reminisce would be to scoop up this 1940s Gymnasium Clock ($229). Its body is crafted of riveted sheet metal and it features that iconic metal grill, keeping the big and little hands safe from errant dodgeball ricochets.

Handmade Steel Clocks by Michael Siney: Life After Flavor Flav

With the impending death of Flavor Flav (no, he’s not in the hospital or anything, but come on, you know it’s gotta happen soon), there will soon be a dearth of cool clock collectors. You can fill that void with one of these Handmade Steel Clocks by Michael Siney ($55+). A single piece of laser cut steel serves as the foundation, with designs that could easily be found in a modern art museum. Just don’t try wearing one.

Hermés Atmos Clock: Respect My Time

At one point or another we’ve all lost track of time (“I thought you said our wedding was going to be on Mountain Standard Time!”), but the Hermes Atmos clock from Jaeger-LeCoultre practically demands you never do that again. Magically powered by an hermetically sealed capsule filled with a mixture of gases, this stunner also features an intensely intricate double layer glass dome created specially by glassblowers Les Cristalleries de Saint-Louis. If all that doesn’t compel you to take time seriously, perhaps the 30,000 euros price tag will.

Defusable Alarm Clock

You’re a loose cannon, a maverick, and it’s time to prove yourself with the Defusable Clock ($42.95). The mayor’s been on our asses for weeks to find out where the next bomb will be planted. The Defusable Clock could be that bomb. It’s a fully functional alarm clock, but if you hit the big red button, the countdown begins. One of the Defusable Clock’s four wires is randomly chosen as the correct wire, two do nothing, and one blows up your face. Choose wisely. If you don’t, you’ll be an embarrassment to the whole damn department (because you’ll be blown up). You’re off the case and off the force. Gimme your badge and gun, and get out of my office. Your investigation is finished, you hear me?


Plicate Watch by Benjamin Hubert

If 3D movies (John Carter anyone?  No, seriously, anyone?) aren’t enough to satisfy your unyielding appetite for three dimensions, feast your eyes on Benjamin Hubert’s new wristwatch, Plicate. Using the pleats often found in paper fans, this head-turner of a timepiece uses a three dimensional-faceted surface to display increments of time. The pleated surface of Plicate is also detailed on the underside of the watch strap, letting air flow between the strap and your wrist so you don’t sweat up the joint. Joints don’t like to be sweated up, FYI.