Cardboard Foosball Table: Turn Any Room Into A Game Room

Working at a cool place like Google or Amazon probably means fun perks like break rooms where employees are encouraged to blow off steam with fun games. Sadly, most of us instead work for evil jerkbags who only grudgingly provide working toilets. But hey, now any room can be turned into a game room with the Kartoni cardboard foosball table. Just bring it to work and unfold the fun as everything comes together without screws or frustrating tools. The cardboard is made from 100% renewable raw materials, and despite its eco-friendly status, the tech sector is recognized with a built-in speaker for the iPhone.

Livescribe Sky Wifi Smartpen

Between those hot blonde teachers with suspect morals, and the Sky Wifi Smartpen from Livescribe ($122), going to school these days might not actually be that bad. This ingenious writing instrument digitizes all of your notes and records the relentless droning important lectures from your professors, provided you don’t sit all the way in the back and shoot spitballs at Becky Johnson. Whether it’s history class, or a bored board meeting, you’ll get it all stored in the cloud.

Cocktail Dice

Got the beer pong blues? Shake up your stale booze-fueled recreational sports with Cocktail Dice & Shaker ($34) from Uncommon Goods. You get eight wooden dice and a 16-ounce cocktail shaker that’s ready to create daring and possibly delicious drink combinations.  The dice say things like gin, rum, grapefruit juice, or club soda, and your roll of them determines what concoction you’ll be quaffing down. Yes, I said quaffing.

Fridge Locker: Protect Your Food from Hungry Roommates

Ever since you slept with his sister, your roommate has been all weird and stuff; leaving the toilet seat down… setting your DVR for Lifetime movies… and swiping your perishables from the fridge. Prevent the thievery of your precious edibles with the Fridge Locker ($20), a combination lock-guarded box for your eats and drinks. This ventilated container keeps roommates and co-workers off your meats & cheeses so they can focus on their lonely siblings.

Moleskine Evernote Smart Notebooks

Despite the plentiful advancements of technology, taking notes of your history professor’s lecture or doodling what you think the girl two seats in front of you looks like naked is still easier done with a pen and paper. But a change is coming. The Moleskine Evernote Smart Notebook ($25-$30) uses specially formatted paper that allows you to take photos of pages from the physical notebook and then store them digitally forever; easily searchable and free from that dreaded yellow page curling. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to those notes that artwork.

Bum Bag Drink Cooler

Odds are you’re gonna get fired at some point in your life. And once that happens, Article 14 of the Constitution says you must then spend three weeks living in a cardboard box and drinking out a brown paper bag. Prepare for the inevitable with the Bum Bag Drink Cooler ($10), a reusable, foil-lined chill zone that’ll make it look like you’re homeless, but with water-resistant & tear-proof Tyvek material surrounding your suds, it’ll just be a very cold dry run for the real thing.

Glazed Donut-flavored Vodka

Damn it! June 1st was National Donut Day and we totally forgot to celebrate it. Oh well… might as well drown our sorrows in Vodka 360’s new flavor, 360 Glazed Donut. While the typical donut usually only packs 50 proof (55 with rainbow sprinkles), Glazed Donut vodka clocks in at 70 proof, allowing you to get drunk off this stuff much faster than you would with say, a dozen Boston Creams. If you need a donut and coffee to start your morning but you’re watching your weight, a little spike in your joe might be the way to go.

Defusable Alarm Clock

You’re a loose cannon, a maverick, and it’s time to prove yourself with the Defusable Clock ($42.95). The mayor’s been on our asses for weeks to find out where the next bomb will be planted. The Defusable Clock could be that bomb. It’s a fully functional alarm clock, but if you hit the big red button, the countdown begins. One of the Defusable Clock’s four wires is randomly chosen as the correct wire, two do nothing, and one blows up your face. Choose wisely. If you don’t, you’ll be an embarrassment to the whole damn department (because you’ll be blown up). You’re off the case and off the force. Gimme your badge and gun, and get out of my office. Your investigation is finished, you hear me?