Magnetic Key Ring Holder & Shelf: Because You Can’t Lose A Shelf

The only thing that sucks harder than losing your keys is [INSERT MILEY CYRUS JOKE HERE]. Handcrafted in the Rocky Mountains by Meriwether of Montana, this magnetic key ring holder and shelf ($42) assures your keys will stay put at home because, come on, who could lose a shelf? Three strong rare earth magnets are embedded in the under side of the shelf and that’s your ticket to key cohesiveness.

Midweek Refill, 10.29.13

Porn stars have the best selfies. Ever.

– Rachel Wilson’s boobs are bouncy (The Blemish)

– 10 best porn star Instagrams (GuySpeed)

– Sad Etsy boyfriends (Sad Etsy Boyfriends Tumblr)

– How to make big money with illegal tv/movie streams (TorrentFreak)

– Steve Aoki throws cake at wheelchair-bound fan (Youtube)

– 13 Trader Joe’s food hacks (First We Feast)

– The inside scoop behind NBA Jam (ESPN)

– Get to know the Japanese love industry (Man of Many)

– Pearl Jam jam & speak on Fallon (Consequence of Sound)

Pretentious Beer Glasses: Better Than Bragging About Your Brew

When you’re quaffing down a quality craft beer, you can’t help but wanna brag about it. But screaming “HEY EVERYBODY!! FOR ONCE I’M NOT DRINKING PBR!” might come off a bit… crass. Instead make your chug-mug one of these Pretentious Beer Glasses ($35 and up) and enjoy a unique carrying case for your unique beverage. Sip something dark from the Malty Beer Glass or unleash your inner mixologist with the Dual Beer Glass, letting you pour two different beers into the same glass and then combine them in your thankful gullet.

Poster Your Domain With Seinfeld Prints About Nothing

It may have gone off the air 15 years ago, but the love affair still continues with  millions of fans and one very special sitcom. We’re talking of course about Murphy Brown, or as they call it in the hood — where it’s really popular — Murphy Motherf****ng Brown.  But another TV program that ended in 1998 and that also has a few fans left is Seinfeld, and that show has some cool new posters to celebrate it. Sign-Feld’s Posters and Prints About Nothing ($20+) feature all of the classic lines and phrases from the show, including “She Had Man Hands” and “No Soup For You”, which is a great poster to hang up if you have a roommate who’s always asking for soup, and like, you generally only buy those one-serving size Chunky containers.

Wooden Beef Butcher Diagram Cutting Board: Your Body Is A Wonderland

I’m not sure if John Mayer wrote “Your Body Is A Wonderland” about Jessica Simpson or Jennifer Aniston, but clearly he made a mistake by not dedicating his raspy vocals to the almighty cow. From burgers to steaks, it’s the cow’s body that truly is the wonderland here, and this Wooden Beef Butcher Diagram Cutting Board ($45) shows you exactly why. The 12 x 16 inch hand-milled board is engraved with an informative beef butcher’s diagram, so you’ll know exactly how to slice one up if you ever find yourself stranded on a dairy farm and not in the mood to ask the property owner for directions.

Edible Chocolate Candy Gears: Eat The Machine

There are some guys who loved PE, some who loved recess, and some who actually found Algebra to be compelling. But all of us had a soft spot for shop class. Even if you weren’t a wiz with the table saw, there was still a certain thrill in seeing how many fingers Mr. Jensen would be bringing back each September. Celebrate all things machinery with these Edible Chocolate Candy Gears ($42.50). The uncanny resemblances to the real things are made all the more impressive when you learn that the candy is made with fair trade organic chocolate, certified organic flavorings, and organic starches. Hey, maybe you can even swing by the old school and give some to Mr. Jensen. He’ll probably give you a high three when he sees you.

WWF Legends Minimalist Posters

If you asked me who are the big draws in pro wrestling today, I’d stumble and stutter and make up stuff up like Hank “Tasty Scallops” Scarborough and “Resentful” Rick Rubenstein. But ask me who was hot in the 80s, and I can rattle off names until I’m turquoise in the grill. If you’re with me on that one, then these WWF Legends Minimalist Posters  ($4.50) will surely wake you from the drowsiest of sleeper holds. The unique art style brings out the color and personality of each wrestler, from Andre the Giant to Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, with their signature finishing move noted at the bottom. Tasty Scallops’ finishing move? The Saute Slam, of course. Very painful.

Insulated Wooden Cooler

Here’s a cooler cooler than we’re used to seeing–wood, you agree? Heh. OK, enough comedy gold, let’s talk wooden coolers here. This $55 beverage-holder features a striking pine exterior and a less-than-striking-but-keeps-cold-beers-cold styrofoam interior. Show up to the picnic with this beauty and you will reek of understated class–as well as the usual Axe body spray du jour.