If you’re like me and spent many a restless night wondering why Johnny Cash didn’t play more ping pong, you’ll be relieved to know we now have an answer. It wasn’t because table tennis didn’t fit his tough guy image, no, it’s because he never had an all-black table like this one to play on. “Slice” from the Brooklyn-based design studio Snarkitecture is made of Richlite, steel, rubber, and the souls of ping pongers past. It’s how Johnny would’ve played.*
*conjecture
Ever wonder why your friend Todd always seems to know exactly what you’re holding when playing Texas Hold Em? It’s because your cards are from 1992. They’re bent, faded, and easy to recognize. OK, so revenge can happen two ways here: 1) slaughter Todd and his family with a rusty pick axe in their sleep, or 2) get a new pack of cards. If you’re opting for the latter, check out these Ultraviolet cards ($13) created by beta17. The theme is minimalist and they feature a deep purple color that is rarely seen outside of the eggplant section at your local farmers market.
Your years of complaints about foosball not being “highfalutin enough” have now been addressed. Please see the Teckell Cristallino Gold LE table, crafted by Italian experts who no doubt heard your cries from across the pond and were all like “Mama Mia, what a gavone!” The table’s body is made from low iron crystal glass, with 24 carat gold-plated accessories littering the playing field, so we predict you’ll see one of these in a rap video within 90 days. Only 50 models are being made, so you’ll have to hurry if you wanna beat Lil Whoever to the punch.
Russian roulette tends to get a little too dramatic, what with the gun play and all. But if you still enjoy the concept, we just found dinner for your next UK trip. New Zealand-based Hell Pizza offers their customers an option for Pizza Roulette, which means one slice of your pie comes with two drops of the world’s hottest chili sauce (2 million Scoville units) on it. Of course no one knows what slice actually has the heat, so the pressure builds with each bite. It’s roulette the way we like it: melted cheese sans Deer Hunter hijinks.