Lazyglasses: Because Reading Is Fundamental, And Hard

Grandmas everywhere are still wondering why America’s children have spurned reading in favor of the Nintender. Perhaps it’s because reading is pretty demanding; what with all the holding of books and head turning. Lazyglasses ($16) might actually make reading cool again, thanks to its special mirrored lenses that let you read text at 180 degrees. That means little Jacob can plop down on his Insidious 2 bedspread and read while lying flat on his back. But shhh, don’t tell him: They also work with TV.

Death Star Tea Infuser

How pissed is Darth Vader over the constant movie tinkering by George Lucas? He’s so pissed, he’s switched from Jedi blood to tea as his bedtime beverage of choice. Of course he’s still a supreme evil prick, so he uses this stainless steel Death Star Tea Infuser ($19.99) to get things going, and now you can too. Just fill it with the tea leaves of your choice and dip it into hot water. May the Sleepytime be with you.

5 (Asinine) Tips for a Super Summer

It never fails. The thermometer hits 85 and TV newscasters bombard us with doomsday warnings about killer jellyfish and deadly potato salad drive-bys. But man, summer only lasts two months! It needs to be sucked dry of all its fun juice, and sucked fast and hard. Ditch the nagging naysayers and click “Next” to pump up your summer fun!

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5 Non-Sexual Ways to Please Your Dad for Father’s Day

From the moment you came out of your mother’s womb, your dad was right there–watching the Dodgers and the Padres on the waiting room TV. And once the game was over (San Diego won 6-2), and after he caught Johnny Carson’s monologue, and as soon as he took a quick leak, he came into the delivery room, took you in his arms, and looked deep into your eyes with pride, amazement, and great expectations for your future.

But carrying your father’s hopes and dreams can be a burden. He wants you to be rich and famous, while you’re pretty much content to just be eye crust-free in public. If pleasing pops on this Father’s Day remains a goal of yours – but not, say, a higher goal than avoiding freezer-burned sherbet – follow these five unique, non-sexual steps for making the old man happy.

Now start clicking that “next” link you ungrateful swine. Image via Flickr/Kalexanderson

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Shmaltz Brewing HE’BREW Holiday Gift Pack

Looking for unique gift ideas? Shmaltz Brewing Company is now offering a limited edition HE’BREW Holiday Gift Pack that includes 8 different 12 oz bottles of beer: Genesis Ale, Messiah Bold, Origin, Jewbelation 15, Reunion Ale ‘11, Bittersweet Lenny’s RIPA, Hop Manna, and a bonus bottle of Jewbelation, which is a vintage selection from Jewbelations 8 – 14. Give the gift pack as a single gift or give a beer a night for eight crazy nights! The pack will be available in more than 25 states through 30 wholesalers and at specialty retail stores Beverages & More, Whole Foods, Total Wine, select Krogers and Cost Plus. Finally, to kick the Chanukah celebration up a notch, the gift pack also includes a custom HE’BREW glass, Chanukah candles, and details on How To Build Your Own Beer Menorah. Now that’s one party I don’t wanna miss!

Jurassic Park Ultimate Trilogy Gift Set

Since 1993, you’ve never been able to see a vibrating glass of water and not wet yourself.  And we don’t mean with the water.  Well my friend, you’d best stock up on Depends, because you’re about to relive the T-Rex terror all over again, this time in eye-searing high definition, with the brand new Jurassic Park Ultimate Trilogy Gift Set.  This 3-disc Blu-ray package features Jurassic Park, The Lost World, and Jurassic Park III, and all three films are finally now in HD with digital 7.1 surround sound.  Can you imagine hearing those raptors behind you?  Yeah, we bet you can.  The $79.99 set includes a Brontosaurus-sized batch of extras, including a new documentary on the making of the films, with new cast and crew interviews.  As if that weren’t enough, the gift set also comes with a limited edition T-Rex statue that, let’s face it, may have to stay in the attic if you ever want to leave your house dry.