You’re looking at the tallest crossing guard in America with mad bball skillz to boot. And now, it’s time to welcome in the weekend. Holla!
– It’s great when bullies get what they deserve. (The Blemish)
– Every ‘yeah’ sung by James Hetfield of Metallica. Like, ever. (The High Definite)
– How to pick up a supermodel when you’re 83. Or any age. (Bro Bible)
– Meet the guy with the world’s biggest balls. (Visual News)
– Get the new gaming system, Raystation 4, in Chinatown, Toronto (Unfinished Man)
– Michael Jordan. Hall of Fame player. D-League Dresser. (wtfismjwearing)
– Traditional Mongolian goat roast. Does NOT taste like chicken. (Food Republic)
I’m no Jack Palmer or Arnold Nicklaus, but I don’t mind swinging the old iron sometimes (if that’s a phrase). I also live behind a golf course, so, there’s that. When I received Nike’s new TW ’13s, I excitedly slapped them on my feet and walked them over to the greens for a test. Style-wise, Tiger’s new shoes sport a classic white with black trim motif (or choose black with grey trim), with a little bit of grey around the laces and down the side near the heel, and a tiny touch of Tiger red on the last ringlet. I think the white ones look pretty sharp. The black pair might be a little imposing for the country club.
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Not every avid golfer is a 50-something-year-old rich white dude. Come on, that’s ridiculous. There’s plenty of 40-something-year-old rich white dudes who love to play too. But seriously, golf has grown in the past two decades to become much more mainstream. Nike knows this as well as anyone, since it’s their guy (Tiger) who took the sport’s popularity from the rough to the greens. With that in mind comes the Nike Lunar Swingtip Lea ($109-$119), a street-casual golf shoe that’s meant to look just as good on the town as it does on the 10th tee.
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Your golf swing is too complex an animal, too intricate a phenomenon to trust to another human for analyzation–let alone one of your half-baked buddies. Remove the human element and thus the room for error with the Rokform Golf Shooter ($129). Just stick it in the ground and mount your iPhone 4/4s to it to capture those invaluable recordings of your stroke. It even comes with a protective cover for when, ya know, you sometimes hit the ball backwards.
Holy cow! When did this happen? Golf shoes are now a thing? Nike’s forthcoming Lunar Bandon ($180) looks like they’ll be prompting pre-dawn lines at Foot Locker and fetching $950 on eBay. The Lunar Bandon’s profile is flexible, lightweight and comfortable; a mudder that lets you fight through all 18 holes despite that hurricane thingy the weather guy talked about. A booty tongue (kinky) construction keeps water away from your feet. Now, will the kids go nuts for these even though they’re meant for golf and not B-ball? We’ll find out in October.
Your drunk friend Tyler mumbling “Nice slice, dude,” is not the kind of swing analyzation that’s gonna take your golf game to the top. Instead, opt for the Golf Sense 3D Swing Analyzer ($139). Just attach the sensor to your glove via the velcro strap, take your cut, then let the 3D motion capture tech break it down for you on your iPad or iPhone. Meanwhile, get Tyler some help, wouldja?
Ever have doubts about whether your father is indeed really your father, or even a father at all? Here’s the crucial test: Does he like golf and beer? If you answered yes, then congrats! This dude is still your dad! Go celebrate and buy him this Vintage Golf Club Bottle Opener ($34) for Father’s Day. He’ll enjoy the harmonious convergence of two of his faves. If you answered no, well, at least that’s $35 in your pocket. This guy ain’t getting jack.
Lots of us hear voices in our heads while golfing. What if I miss the ball? Are these pants too loud? Why do so many people watch these idiotic crime shows? Silence those pesky distractions with something that’ll actually help your game: Golf Buddy Voice ($180). This hands-free GPS device will tell you how many yards out you are from each hole, and it’ll do so without adding any cheap jokes about your weight like that Rent-A-Caddy did that one time.