W/Me Wristband: What Does Your Heavy Breathing Look Like?

Perhaps your knack for heavy breathing has turned off a few ladies over the years, but did you know you can now fine tune your phone pervert game by taking an actual look at said breathing? Yes, the W/Me wristband incorporates a medical-grade sensor that works with your smartphone and promises to help keep you physically and mentally healthy. You can see your heart rate, emotions, vitality, and more, all in real time. And oh yeah, it also shows you your breathing. Think of it like an NFL coach breaking down game tape–rather raunchy game tape.

Scanadu Scout: Doctor Doctor Text Me The News

It’s kind of a stereotype that us men don’t like going to the doctor’s office — “What? This open, gaping, puss-filled leg wound? Nah, trust me, it’ll heal by itself” — so that’s what makes this bit of tech all the more enticing. The Scanadu Scout can measure your blood pressure, temperature, heart rate and more just by placing it on your forehead (you can turn and cough for old times sake if you like). Instantly all your vital stats to your smartphone. But please, resist the urge to tweet that.


Sauna Box: More Money, Less Naked Dudes

Saunas are great, but 9 times out 10 they involve sitting three feet away from an old dude’s bare sack. Is ridding yourself of this problem worth $41,000? Of course it is. The Sauna Box is a self-sufficient sauna that uses both solar power and a wood-fired stove. The whole unit is built into its shipping container, and it features hook-ups for your electronics. Yes, more hook-ups for your gear, less hook-ups for No-Pants Stanley over there.

Hyperice: Ice Compression Therapy to the Extreme

While Troy Polamalu and Blake Griffin are constantly dealing with the aches and pains that come with pro sports, regular guys also need treatment for their injuries (I know my right forearm is usually killing me in the morning). Anyways, Hyperice ($80-$130) is the latest tool the pros use to quickly recover, and now it’s up for grabs for everybody. It delivers vital ice compression, whether it’s for the back, knee, shoulder, ankles, elbows, or whatever, bringing relief and an expedited recovery.

Skratch Labs Hydration Mix

Is it just me, or does watching all that Olympic action on TV get you thirstier than Thurston Howell III? Yeah, during these summer games, you’re gonna need something stronger than ade-ending beverages. You’re gonna need the Skratch Labs Hydration Mix ($20/1 lb bag), an invention by sports scientist and cycling coach Dr. Allen Lim. The mix features all-natural ingredients, actual fruit flavoring, less sugar, and added electrolytes.  Just what you need to handle your 29th straight hour of Bob Costas.

Dude Wipes

Us guys aren’t exactly known for our cleanliness. I once used two spritzes of Armor All to freshen up my pits after an invigorating game of air hockey. So with that in mind comes Dude Wipes ($10 for a box of 30). These moist towelettes give you a portable way to tidy up with a fresh-scented blend of Vitamin E and Aloe on a man-sized disposable sheet. Does this mean you can dwindle down your showers from five a week to three? I’m gonna say yes.

5 (Asinine) Tips for a Super Summer

It never fails. The thermometer hits 85 and TV newscasters bombard us with doomsday warnings about killer jellyfish and deadly potato salad drive-bys. But man, summer only lasts two months! It needs to be sucked dry of all its fun juice, and sucked fast and hard. Ditch the nagging naysayers and click “Next” to pump up your summer fun!

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Odor Removing Stainless Steel Soap

So you just made your lady a scrumptious dish of swordfish sautéed in garlic and onions, and now you’re about to tenderly caress her cheek with those same hands that chopped, sliced, and diced all those potent ingredients. HOLD UP! Reach for the Alessi Savon Du Chef Stainless Steel Soap ($25) instead, and remove all the offensive odors from your overworked palms. It’s made from 18/10 stainless steel and the smooth top edge also doubles as a nail cleaner. OK… now you can grab that ass. That was the cheek you were going for, right?