The Hot Sauce Cookbook: Come On Baby Light Your Fire

It’s time to bring the DIY mentality out of the garage and into the kitchen—specifically to a place where it’s long been needed: hot sauce. The Hot Sauce Cookbook ($13) gives you more than 60 recipes to make your own pepper sauces and salsas. Concoct your own take on Frank’s RedHot, Texas Pete, Crystal, or Sriracha, then roll the dice with recipes for Meso-american salsas, Indonesian sambal, and Ethiopian berbere. Most people won’t know what those last few are, but that just means they won’t know if you F’ed up the recipe either.

DoubleKick Caffeinated Hot Sauce: Wake Your Buds And Brain At Once

Lots of hot sauces wake your taste buds up from their homogenized-food slumber, but none of them wake up your brain. Well, none of them until now. DoubleKick Caffeinated Hot Sauce ($10) combines the best of Asian and Southwestern chili sauces, and then piles on with ginger and caffeine. You get 12 mg of it per teaspoon. By comparison, one bottle of 5 Hour Energy is believed to contain about 200 mg of caffeine. What does this mean to you? We’re not sure. But we do know that if you dab some DoubleKick sauce on your burger and wash it down with a 5 Hour Energy, you will almost be able to stay awake for the entire Academy Awards broadcast.

Sriracha Lollipops

The broadening of one’s cultural influences can sometimes happen in unusual places. The other day, after a lovely canaling of our roots, we noticed Dr. Feinstone had some new flavors in his bowl of lollipops. Bypassing staid grape, we went for the Sriracha Lollipop (4 for $10). The Asian hot sauce known for spicing up everything from egg rolls to bowls of pho has now been turned into a beautiful ball of candy on a stick. They’re so good, it’s almost worth making another trip back to the office for a totally unnecessary procedure. But of course we know dentists would never go for that.

Tabasco Spicy Chocolate

The only thing worse than eating all those Valentine’s Day chocolates each year is the amount of hot sauce you go through with them–am I right? Well, consider that problem solved. Tabasco Spicy Chocolate lets you take your hand off the bottle for once and enjoy rich milk chocolate the way it was meant to be: with red peppers, salt and vinegar. Tell Whitman’s to step off this year, and drop $8 on a gift that your girlfriend will surely, uhh, have an opinion on.

Satan’s Rage Hot Sauce – Made with Ghost Peppers

If you’re one to play with fire, then Satan’s Rage Hot Sauce, made with the newly discovered Ghost Pepper, is one crazy ride on the highway to hell! Experience the titillating wrath of Satan’s Rage with the burning sensation that can only come from the world’s hottest pepper, the Ghost Pepper. Just be sure to locate the exit signs, (two “R”, two “L”) and be sure you have a clear bee line to the bathroom. This deliciously painful Indian pepper will burn as much coming out as it did going in, but boy oh boy is it worth it! After all, not many people can say they survived Satan’s Rage.