Intoxicase Plus

As great as apps are, there is still no computer application that can open up your bottle of Heineken. That’s what we call an outrage, folks. But now, there’s something just as good: the Intoxicase Plus ($35). Protect your iPhone and your thirst for tightly sealed beverages all at once with this ingenious invention, featuring a bottle opener on the back of the protective case and an accompanying app that tells you how many beers you’ve tossed back, a library of adult liquids, taxi listings, and a tap-to-park service that helps you find your vehicle after a long night of “ginger ales.”