2015 Jaguar F-Type Coupe: Curves For Days

Packing more curves than let’s say, Morganna the Kissing Bandit, the 2015 Jaguar F-Type Coupe (starting at $65,000) leaves a trail of lusciousness from head to tail. Under the hood, much like with Morganna, there’s also some fun stuff. A 550-horsepower 5.0-liter supercharged V8 engine gets this beauty to do 0 to 60 mph in four seconds flat, according to Jaguar. The F-Type’s body is also made from a single piece of aluminum stamping– pretty cool. Morganna, judging from those videos, is all natural.

Jaguar XKR-S GT: Your Aluminum Foil

The all-aluminum body of the 2014 Jaguar XKR-S GT ($174,895) is where our headline comes from, because this ride will instantly make you look better by sitting in it–even if you’re rocking the tin foil hat. The 5.0-liter V-8 engine wastes no time pussyfooting at the starting line, cranking out 550 hp and 502 lb-ft of torque. Jaguar says you’ll be able to do 0-60 mph in 3.9 seconds with a top speed of 186 mph. Meanwhile a new suspension stiffens up the ride, and a new steering system smooths it out.

2014 Jaguar XFR-S Sedan

You’re looking at the fastest and most powerful sedan Jaguar has ever produced. That’s if you’re looking at the picture above. If not, you’ll have to tell us what you’re looking at. The 2014 Jaguar XFR-S ($99,000) is powered by the same 5-liter supercharged V8 as the 2012 XKR-S, delivering 550hp and 502 lb-ft of torque when you call on it. It takes you from zero to 60 mph in 4.4 seconds, and to a top speed of 186 mph. Best of all, this thing even gets decent gas mileage (23 mpg highway). Worst of all, just 100 are being made.

2014 Jaguar F-Type

Previously veiled in a smidgen of secrecy (think a little less than KFC’s recipe), the 2014 Jaguar F-Type (starting at $69,000) is now out in the open, and as expected, it shares many of the same traits as the C-X16 concept coupe which debuted in 2011. Under the hood, the choice is all yours, as you can opt for the 340-horsepower version, bump up to the 380-hp F-Type S at $81,000, or go all out with the 495-hp F-Type V8 S at $92,000. Take this big cat for a spin with a Double Down in one hand and you’ll be king of the world… or something.

2013 Jaguar XJ Ultimate

The reaction you currently get when you show up at work leaves a little to be desired. It’s not that you dislike eggs, you’re just not as fond of them when they’re thrown at you with visible contempt. Well maybe that’ll change if you show up in the Jaguar XJ Ultimate ($155,000). Only 30 of these luxurious cars will be available in the United States, but if you’re one of the lucky 30, make sure you hire a driver. See, it’s the backseats of these babies that are on another level. With premium leather, massage and climate controls, a solid aluminum table, champagne flutes and chiller, and twin  iPads, you’ll easily turn your co-workers jerkiness into enjoyable jealousy.

2012 Jaguar XKR-S Convertible

You might drink a venti, soy, no foam, no whip, hazelnut latte on ice, but you are absolutely a power guy….no doubt about it. And since you’re into power, you’ll be thrilled behind belief to know that Jaguar has just unveiled their most powerful rag-top ever, the 2012 XKR-S Convertible. This two-door, in drop-top muscle machine features the same 550 horsepower 5.0-liter V8 found in the coupe, and it will take you to 60 in just 4.2 seconds, making it the Jag’s fastest convertible to date. The XKR-S boasts the same exterior as its hardtop cohort, sporting a new front bumper with a wider, lower air intake and a carbon fiber splitter. Inside, the performance seats are trimmed with carbon leather. Come to think of it, you may want to switch to an extra large, extra hot coffee, black, to ride in this bad boy.