Perfect Prizes for the Primary Politicians

Super Tuesday 2012, the Super Bowl of the Republican Primary, hits today. Watch the candidates outdo each other as they tell us which bold new programs and promises they’ll ultimately fail to implement if elected. Who will fail us the least? Now’s the time to choose.

In honor of the combatants, we’ve assembled the perfect prize for each candidate to take home should they win. Delegates? We fart on your delegates. This is the real competition, my friend. Click through to read So Freaking Cool’s “Perfect Prizes for the Primary Politicians”.

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7 Cool Things That Can (Possibly) Double as Girl Gifts for Valentine’s Day

So you couldn’t pull the trigger on that planned breakup with your girl during Madonna’s halftime horror show. Bummer, dude. Now you’re on the hook for another February 14th full of coerced commercialism. Yeah, that little scamp Cupid is back, and he’s got his arrow cocked at your dome, just daring you to show up empty handed. Well, have no less fear. So Freaking Cool is here with a nifty list of gifts that beat the Stove Top out of flowers and candy. Sure, they’re manly items, but if you spin it just right, when she tears off the wrapping, you’ll have her believing you’re in this relationship for the long haul–until that hot Wendy’s cashier finally gives you some play.

Begin the journey by clicking that “next” link.

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Jean-Paul Gaultier Gold Bar

We’re always hearing those commercials telling to “Buy gold now!”, but we don’t respond to such theatrics. No, what piques our interest is gold with style, like this new nugget emblazoned with designs from French fashion guru Jean-Paul Gaultier. If you want to make a clean break from the clichéd roses and candy this Valentine’s Day, what the hell, buy your baby a one-ounce 24 karat gold bar. She’ll coo over the engraved heart, rays and Gaultier’s name on the banner. Of course gold doesn’t come cheap, nor does its price remain the same, so as of now, you’re looking at a cost of about $1,826.33, plus the $25 handling fee. Just make sure if and when the relationship ends, she gets the dog and you get the gold.