Porsche Special Edition 911 Club Coupe

The 60th anniversary of the Porsche Club car series draws nigh, and Porsche desires a grand celebration. The 911 Club Coupe ($175,580) is the crown jewel Porsche wished to unveil on the eve of celebration, boasting of its 430 horsepower and giant set of auto-balls. Only 12 are available, however, 11 of which will be portioned out via lottery (and after you pay them for the damned thing). The last set of keys will be thrown into a gladiatorial arena and violently battled over by those who desire the car. This will all be done as the CEOs of Porsche watch from their stone podiums, most likely while being fanned with palm leaves and fed grapes by their concubines.

BMW Zagato Coupé

Sometimes being a high-performance German auto machine isn’t enough. Sometimes you need a little Italian flair, or as the Italians like to say, flair parmigiana! That’s why the intelligentsia at BMW has teamed up with  Italian styling house Zagato to create one of the slickest looking bimmers/beemers to date: the Zagato Coupé. The stretchy hood and short rear deck instantly draw you in, followed quickly by the bold styling of the side vents and doors. Only a few of these hand-built works of art will be available, so you might have to be content with just re-reading this post while chomping on gnocchi.

Absolut Istanbul: New Limited Edition Bottle

Next in line for the Absolut Cities series is Absolut Istanbul, for all you jive Turkeys. The bottle features art from Turkish painters Yigit Yazici (pronounced yggtyzchee), Okan Bayulgen (pronounced oknbuellgn), and Anjelique’te Ortakoy (that one’s a no brainer). The artists attempt to capture the essence of Istanbul with pictures of its fishing industry, the Galata Tower, and bright, wavy lines. Whether or not this has anything to do with a change in taste or how it will affect your level of intoxication is yet to be seen.

James Perse Limited Edition Skateboards

Unless you really get cracking on that time machine, your best bet at owning a 70’s era skateboard is right here. The limited edition James Pearse skateboard is modeled after the classic decks of yesteryear and they’re handcrafted from select solid walnut planks and accented with solid wenge strips for added stability. High-performance trucks and wide polyurethane wheels keep the vibe all lava lampy. Pearse’s pedigree is pure So-Cal artist, and these boards show it.

Designer Fire Extinguishers

Ever since you penned that “Flames: My Best Friend” essay in the 6th grade, the local fire department has had to keep an eye on you. Renounce your arson addiction today with one of these chic designer fire extinguishers from France’s Fire Design. The prices range from $115 to $270 depending on how slick you want your life-saving device to be. If you can find a good translator, maybe you can get one of the Fresh artists to draw Kurt Russell on your extinguisher. Now wouldn’t that be cool, champ? Heh? Heh?

Jordan x Converse 2012 Commemorative Pack

OK, sports buff, what brand of shoes was Michael Jordan wearing when he hit his NCAA Championship-clinching shot in 1982? Nike? Oooh, no sorry, we were looking for Converse. Yes, Jordan was a Converse man before Nike got their claws into him, and now that Nike owns Converse, it’s totally OK for them to issue a 30th anniversary commemorative pack including autographed shoes and a signed number 23 jersey. Each of the 30 packs will be sold via a special eBay auction with all proceeds going to benefit the James R. Jordan Foundation.

Absolut x Jamie Hewlett Collector’s Edition

Absolut bottles have always been pretty damn stylish, but this is on some other plateau right here. British comic book artist and designer Jamie Hewlett has splashed his signature style all over the ABSOLUT LONDON collector’s edition bottle meant to recognize London’s fashion pioneers over the past 200 years. Hewlett co-created the Tank Girl character as well as the animated musical group Gorillaz. It’s a collector’s item, sure, but it’s also Absolut, so let’s face it, if you save this bottle – and you should – it’s gonna be an empty.

Bacardi 150th Anniversary Limited Edition Rum

When your grandma turned 80, you took her to Ruby Tuesday because she thinks their salad bar is “The bee’s knees.” When Bacardi Rum turns 150 this year, well, let’s just say the party bar will be raised a bit. Marking the momentous occasion is this limited edition rum, the Ron Bacardi de Maestros de Ron, Vintage, MMXII ($2,000). The special dark blend has been slowly refined in American oak barrels for 20 years and finished in 60-year-old cognac barrels, so yeah, they ain’t messing around here. Fittingly, there will also be a series of birthday parties in major cities throughout the world this year to recognize the iconic brand. And no, granny isn’t invited.