Dear Diary,

Well Kobe’s being a selfish jerk again. Today he ate an entire container of cole slaw, fully knowing that it was to be shared amongst the whole team. I’m gonna have to do something drastic about this. I’m gonna have to make a change. A controversial change. Yep, starting tomorrow I’m going with potato salad. To hell with what the media thinks. TTYL, Phil

OK, so that may not be an actual excerpt from Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success by Phil Jackson ($16), but with his famous Zen mentality and approach to the game, we wouldn’t be surprised if he oversaw the side dishes as well as the Triangle offense. The big question is, where does he put the 11th ring?