Nintendo 64 Cartridge Soaps

When you’re not in a prison shower, bar soap is great. It’s manly. It’s rectangular. And since it is soap, it’s never dirty. But, when you finally wear that bar down to just a sliver, things get real dicey. STACK Infinity Bar Soap ($12.56 for a pack of 6) is specifically designed to avoid the pitfalls of tiny, slippery soap by letting you stack your little sliver on top of the next fresh bar. A specially shaped groove and grippy, raised lettering form the perfect soapy union. Coming soon to a jail near you?

If you would like to find a wide variety of products like soaps, lotions, shampoos and much more check out this website and buy your favorite products.

Every morning (or night) when you shower, remind yourself of the good ol’ days. Take a bar of a Nintendo 64 Cartridge Soap ($17) in your hands, close your eyes and think back to the times of Mario Kart, The Legend of Zelda and Donkey Kong 64. All those afternoons with no pressure, no responsibilities, just you, the mushrooms and an oversized gorilla throwing barrels. Then, your girlfriend interrupts you mid-dream: “Why are you fondling that soap?” Uhh, nothing, nothing at all.

Analogue Nt: Aluminum Nintendo Entertainment System

The Nintendo Entertainment System first came out in 1983. From that day on, it revolutionized the gaming industry for the better part of almost two decades and inspired many, many hours in front of the tv. Super Mario Bros, Duck Hunt, all classics.

Now comes the Analogue Nt ($500). It’s an all-aluminum version of the original NES. You get the original chip processor, so don’t expect this to compete against your Xbox. It does include such advances as RGB, Component and S-Video outputs, an optional HDMI adapter with 1080p upscaling and four built-in controller ports

Probably best of all, it’ll be compatible with both American and Japanese releases. These Japanese releases were not released in the US, so that’ll be a treat.

Controllers will set you back $50 and HDMI adapter costs the same. Obviously, it’s a little pricier for the original NES, but you get a classy version of a classic console.

Wii Mini

Like a stealthy submarine in the night, Nintendo has squeezed off a fiery red torpedo at Canada in the form of a scaled-down Wii. Don’t run, Canadians! It’s just a game console! Yes, even as Nintendo pushes the Wii U hard, the company is also giving our northern neighbors a chance to pick up a Wii Mini for $99. There are some limitations, though–there’s no Internet connectivity and it lacks the slot-loading disc drive. But if a spiffy new paint scheme and library of 1,300 games sounds good (and you live in Canada), you should probably go oot and getcha one, eh?

Wii U

The lightning that Nintendo captured in its little motion sensor bottle with the Wii was amazing. To date, the Wii has sold nearly 100 million units worldwide. But as anyone who’s ever spent a week on a golf course holding up a mason jar can attest to, it’s hard to capture lightning twice. That’s the goal though with the Wii U, which comes in two flavors, basic ($299.99) and deluxe ($349.99). The deluxe version gets you 32GB of storage to the basic’s 8GB, as well a copy of Nintendo Land. But both versions give you the Wii U’s unique selling point: the GamePad. This 10″ long controller features a 6.2-inch, 16:9 display, with a 854 x 480 resolution. The GamePad serves as a companion to the action on your TV, as well as another venue for you to game on, provided you’re within 25-feet of the console. Is Mario ready to dominate the next round of the console wars? Heyyyy, he is a plumber.

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! Encyclopedia

Talk about your labor of love! Daniel Lanciana has spent countless hours obsessing over a piece of history, and pouring his heart and soul into a massively detailed book about it. The subject? Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out for the NES. Yes, the classic video game from the mid-80s is documented in the Mike Tyson Punch-out!! Encyclopedia with the kind of fervent intensity usually reserved for rare T-Rex fossils. This hardcover, full-color spectacle captures everything, from the history of Joe Glass to the special code that lets you bite your opponent’s ear off. OK, that last part may not be in there, but anything is possible with mods, right?

Super Mario Cutting Board

It’s-a me, Mario…Cutting Board($110)! Please-a don’t chop-a my face! I-a seriously can’t-a stop-a typing like-a-this, please-a help-a me! The Mario Cutting Board is engrained with an 8-Bit representation of your favorite Italian plumber. No, not Luigi, everyone hates Luigi. This custom built cutting board is 3/4 of an thick and made of solid wood grain, so go ahead and smash any spare Question Blocks you have lying around while (probably drunkenly) humming the Super Mario theme song. And when you tire of your Mario Cutting Board, use him as kindling for your Pixelated Fireplace. Warning: chopping mushrooms on this board may or may not cause spontaneous and violent cutting board growth.

Pixelated Fireplace Art

At some point during your entry into adulthood, you gave up on your dream to shrink into a fanciful little sprite and live in the The Legend of Zelda universe. Dreams bleed sometimes–bleed bad. Stop the carnage with this piece of perfectly pixelated Fireplace Art, custom-painted by JamesBit. You won’t receive any physical warmth, but lots of emotional warm fuzzies will fill your soul each time you walk by the cotton-stretched canvas with its Zeldaesque paint job.

NES Controller Coffee Table

As talk turns to PS4s, Xbox 720s, and ColecoVision 2s (lord willing), now’s a good time to stop and remember our ancestors–with a giant NES controller coffee table ($3,500). Master craftsman Charles Lushear put his heart and soul into this thing, and it even functions as an actual Nintendo controller. Maple, mahogany, and walnut are the materials, but there’s no way it could’ve been built without the most important material of all: love. Awwwwww.