Swing those tootsies from an under-desk hammock. Intrigued? Read on. It’s an, uhh, under-desk hammock ($30). You strap it onto your desk and slide those sweaty dogs into a comfortable, swaying bed that’ll lull you into a very comfortable place. So much so that you can actually put up with your cubicle neighbor’s too-loud conversations.
If you’ve grown tired of seeing Facebook’s Like Thumb everywhere, maybe this will even the score. Middle Finger Paperclips ($10 for a box of 20) simultaneously holds your documents together and tells the world how you feel about being forced to hold said documents together for a meager salary. Bird-flipping has never been so stealthy and yet so productive at the same time.
Not sure if you’ve noticed, but while personal technology has changed quite a bit over the past 10-15 years, furniture hasn’t. The Gesture Task Chair promises 9 new postures for the tablet and smartphone-using sitter, each one brought about by the demands of mobile tech. The postures of 2,000 people in 11 countries were analyzed for the creation of the chair which is said to encourage motion and support your arms while texting. Does it support your elbow and wrist around say midnight when you’re home alone? Oddly there was no mention of that in the brochure.
Over yonder, you’ll see the dark storm of Christmas looming on the horizon. Now, the predicament that most face during these times deals with the philosophy of gift-buying and the inevitable question, “What does this gift say about our relationship?” Well, the MSC01 Filo Tape Dispenser ($30) is a respectable gift for that friend or mother-in-law (hell, even a wife) that says, “We don’t talk much anymore, but let’s maintain what we have in case I need you for something later.” With it’s very own designer (Marie Schenker) and its 18/10 mirror polished stainless steel body, this tape dispenser deserves a spot in a museum of modern art. Not to mention, you can give it to that loved one just in time for them not to wrap presents.
Between those hot blonde teachers with suspect morals, and the Sky Wifi Smartpen from Livescribe ($122), going to school these days might not actually be that bad. This ingenious writing instrument digitizes all of your notes and records the relentless droning important lectures from your professors, provided you don’t sit all the way in the back and shoot spitballs at Becky Johnson. Whether it’s history class, or a bored board meeting, you’ll get it all stored in the cloud.
While it may seem like your home office contains nothing but a stash of sauce-stained Taco Bell receipts (no, they’re not deductible), we know better. We know you’ve got some important documents, and that’s why you need a workstation that looks like it fell off the plane from Lost. The Blackhawk Secretary Trunk ($3,700) is made from a patchwork of polished aluminum panels and hardwood, and it features more nooks and crannies to store your stuff than a Costco case of Thomas’ English Muffins. Weighing in at 500 pounds, it’s also lighter than 501 pounds of polar bear fur.
As I see it, the main problem for Toby Keith – other than his, ahem, music – is his lack of African-American supporters. For some reason, they just don’t dig him. But here’s a black fan that Toby can call his own. It’s the Black Fan by Witold Szostak, and it’s handmade of wenge wood, stainless steel, and probably a few bolts and screws or something. Like Toby Keith, the fan is mounted on a steel leg and is tilt adjustable. Unlike Toby Keith, the fan is found to be refreshing by all ethnicities.
If you’re like us, you’ve put off having a child, pet, or plant because you can barely care for yourself. If so, the Mosser ($10) may be your best bet for live companionship that won’t cramp your style. This is an actual ball of moss that lives inside a small glass terrarium. All you have to do is spray it with some filtered water every two weeks. Doable, right? And while you may catch some flak for having a pet piece of moss, tell those naysayers that compared to pit bulls, moss kills 27% fewer people each year.
