100 Day Wash Free Shirt: Goes Great With Axe

Can the mad scientists behind the Wool&Prince shirt ($98) actually be onto something here? They claim you can don these button-down shirts for up to 100 straight days without them stinking, wrinkling, or even showing gravy stains. All we know is the designers say the “Wool Science” involved with these shirts allows them to go places no other shirt has. Just make sure you go to those places with several cans of Axe Body Spray on hand.

Nanotech Storm Suit: Stay Cool, Not Cold

James Bond seems to do most of his badassery in a suit, but hey, how does he stay so toasty when tangling with toughies in those frosty locales? Perhaps 007 has been slipping into the Nanotech Storm Suit from Indochino ($500+). Not only will these suits keep you feeling Disney movie-warm, they’ll also ward off wrinkles, water, stains, and odors. But the clincher is the sweet pocket for your phone that responds to your touch through the material so your pride and joy can stay protected from the elements–and Jaws.

HALL&MADDEN: Subscribe To Custom Shirts, Not Reader’s Digest

When that unexpected knock at your door leads to a pimply teen trying to sell you a subscription to InStyle or some crap, instead of caving in to the pressure, offer the kid this tip instead: Had you been selling dress shirts instead of magazines, you would’ve made a mint. Custom clothing startup Hall&Madden is on the case, offering up shirt subscriptions in one, two, three, or four-month intervals. Just pay $150 per period and you’ll receive a box of three fitted dress shirts. Two-ply imported cotton, mother of pearl buttons, and contrast cuffs highlight the build quality. Oh, and the fact that each box comes with absolutely no issues of Reader’s Digest.

Ministry of Supply Apollo Shirt: Made from Spacesuits

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that ladies love pit stains. Big, sweaty, greasy, eat-through-the-fabric pit stains. I learned this while vacationing on Bizarro World. But if you prefer dry shirts over throngs of sex-crazed women, then sure, check out Ministry of Supply’s Apollo Shirt ($105). Based on NASA heat regulation technology used in spacesuits, this shirt will stave off the sweat in the summer and keep you warm in the winter. It knows what you want, man. But not what the ladies want. Remember, they enjoy sweaty armpits.