2012 Rolex Sky Dweller

Who needs charisma and social skills when you can just show off your expensive stuff? Rolex has always been the status symbol for dapper bastards and secret agents, and now you can pretend to be both those things with the 2012 Rolex Sky Dweller. Walk up to women, ask them the time, and right before they answer, say, “Oh wait, let me check my ROLEX.”  If you’re able to do this without crapping your pants or committing any other social faux paus, you’re guaranteed to impress them. Unless they have a personality, in which case you’re shit out of luck.

Rolex Hillary Tenzing Edition Explorer Set

Exploring your fridge and discovering an edible source of protein is rather impressive, but how about recognizing some true trailblazing pioneers? That’s exactly what the Rolex Hillary Tenzing Edition Explorer watch set does, with watches and gear honoring two of the greatest mountaineering families of all time. Each set comes with custom-made items and gear commemorating the 1953 Everest expedition, including a silver mountaineering pin and leather-bound map of the original 1953 expedition route to Everest. Each set costs about $40,000, so you may need to explore those couch cushions a bit.