Archer Distillery Air Fresheners: Knock Your Cubicle Scentsless

One of the worst things about an office job is the dreary smell of homogenized air. ::sniff:: What is that Kimberly Clark paper towels? Get outta here with that. Turn your sterile cubicle into a place worthy of your manliness with Archer Distillery Air Fresheners ($14 per bottle). Just a quick spray and you’ll be aromatically whisked away to the cockpit of a European sports car, distillery, or hunting lodge with worn leather, excessive horsepower and a hint of aftershave. Plus as a bonus, if you’re dating a blind girl, a few spritzes of European sports car will totally dupe her into thinking your ’02 Neon is a 458 Spider.

Man Candles

If machismo has kept you from partaking in the majesty of scented candles all these years, we’re so sorry: you’ve missed out on having your garage smell like “Pineapple Vanilla Cupcake.” But Yankee Candle has finally come around to catering to your type with a new series of Man Candles. Choose from “Riding Mower,” “2×4,” “First Down,” and oh boy, “Man Town.” Ya know I spent a night in Man Town back in ’89… best night of my life… smelled great.

Olly: The Web-Connected Smelly Robot

Sure, So Freaking Cool looks great, but have you ever wondered how we smell? Trust us, you’re better off going whiffless. But if you long to attach a scent to your web surfing ways, Olly: The Web-Connected Robot is here to help. This little guy emits an odor of your choice with each internet ping it receives. Want to smell honey baked ham every time you check your email? Go for it, you freak. Olly has a removable section in its backside where you insert the smell of your choice, and then technology does the rest. Olly isn’t ready for mass production yet, but then again, are you ready to smell the internet?