The Body Dryer. Because Towels Are So Yesterday.

Towels. Pssh. True ballers have women wave palm leaves really, really quickly to dry them off after showering. You, though, may not be a true baller, so here’s the next best thing. The Body Dryer ($250). Stand on a bathroom-scale looking contraption and it shoots hot or cold air straight up. It’s like a hand dryer for your whole body. Seriously, this took way too long to come to the market. Close your eyes and imagine it’s the gentle hands of a thousand women flapping really fast.

Oborain: Pre-Fab Outdoor Shower

Waiting for rain, stripping naked, then lugging your Pantene Pro V out into the middle of the street is a pretty cumbersome way to shower outdoors. Simplify the process with the Oborain, a modern pre-fab outdoor shower. And don’t be put off by that “pre-fab” phrase–this thing is already fabulous. It takes just 30 minutes to set the Oborain up, giving you a private shower enclosure made from handcrafted sustainable hardwoods and stainless steel, with an Axor Citterio 3-jet showerhead.

Scu-Head Shower

You’d think by now we’d have seen all the possible innovations in the shower head category, but nope. If Doc Ock gave you some roofies (let’s face it, totally possible) and you woke up at his place, the Scu-Head would probably be the first thing you’d see as he was lathering up your backside. With 6 flexible arms, the Scu-Head will reach any part of your body that the good Dr. Octavius cannot.

Horizontal Shower

The fact that you have to stand up when you shower – just moments after emerging from 8 hours of horizontal hibernation – has always seemed a little harsh to us. Finally, some smart & fancy designers have felt our pain and created a way to lather up while lying down. Dornbracht’s new Horizontal Shower debuted in Switzerland just a few weeks ago, and it’s already whipping up a mild frenzy among those who want less vertical activity pre-10am. Shower heads controlled by the company’s Ambiance Tuning Technique system rain down water on your dirty, dirty body with a multitude of intensities and temperatures, letting you sleep through the daily cleansing process if need be. We’re not sure of its price yet, but we are sure this totally fits our lazy ass lifestyle.