Ultra-Ever Dry Waterproofing: Drier Than Betty White’s Fun Zone

We’re not sure if you have a need to keep things dry in your life, but even if you don’t, after seeing this video, you might be ordering some Ultra-Ever Dry ($53). Like some kinda magical spell from Merlin the Wizard, this waterproof coating repels all liquids, including dirt, dust, mud, and more. Slap some on anything you don’t want to get wet or freeze. Or just charge $5 for people to see you play with it like they do in the video. Whoa.

Sony Waterproof Sports Walkman MP3 Player: Withstands Toilet Water And More!

I can’t tell you how many bullies dunked my head in the toilet in middle school. Too many. And while toilet water always tasted better than Crystal Light, it’s still was far from the ideal lunchtime beverage (chocolate milk). But even worse than the taste of that torture was the fact that my headphones would always get ruined in the ruckus. Thankfully, Sony has come up with a solution. The Walkman Sports MP3 Player features a brilliant design as it combines the 4GB MP3 player with the headphones seamlessly, letting you just wrap it over your ears and go. And yes, it’s waterproof up to 2 meters, so unless there are some new toilets with 7-foot bowls out there, you’ll be totally set for a new round of head-dunks and wedgies.

Supermarine Rain Shirt by Outlier

There’s something badass about not running for shelter the minute it starts raining. It’s like, Be cool baby, ain’t nothin’ but a little H2O! Make sure you say that in a 70’s blaxploitation tone, too. But still, that coolier-than-thou ‘tude does leave your shirt soaking wet. Performance fashion retailer Outlier is ready to solve that issue with the Supermarine Rain Shirt, a water-resistant weave of 100% cotton fibers that swells up and seals when exposed to water, keeping the moisture out and your manly musk scent in. The cotton is an updated version of the fabric invented by the British to keep their WW II pilots alive in the North Sea if they got shot down–and, yes, to also preserve that manly musk scent.

HzO WaterBlock

It’s happened to everyone, that feeling of dread when you drop your phone into the unfathomable depths of the latrine while texting on the toilet. Sifting through your own waste is one thing. Making sure your phone (and emotional stability) emerge unscathed, now that’s another. The makers of HzO WaterBlock understand the urgency to prevent this epidemic of accidental phone drownings. While others, such as Liquipel, offer a caseless waterproofing, HzO WaterBlock seals the circuitry from inside out during the manufacturing process. This should offer greater protection, though Liquipel doesn’t fare too bad.

So next time you watch Rom-Com #47 and the romantic lead dives, phone first, into a swimming pool to prove his undying love or whatever, take a deep breath. Before your frustration boils over, just repeat to yourself, “He had an HzO phone…he had an HzO phone…”