2013 Yamaha YZF-R1

To celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day today, you could hop aboard some rickety vessel and take a 40-minute tour of your local scurvy-infested river, but me thinks a modern-day pirate would prefer something much more sinister to pick up his wenches–like say the 2013 Yamaha YFZ-R1 (14,290 Dubloons). A new traction control system makes this bike even better, what with its already fearless 998cc, liquid-cooled four-cylinder engine. Slap a cannon on this thing and you’re ready to pillage the village.

Yamaha Y125 Moegi Electric Bike

The Yamaha Y125 Moegi is currently in a conceptual phase, which makes us sad and confused. So confused. Gas costs lots of money. DOLLAR money. And the Moegi requires less gas. Get where I’m going with this? Because I’m sort of lost now. Something about gas mileage…oh well, better list some specs. The Moegi is built from a specific but vague percentage of aluminum, probably making it lightweight. That’s nice, right? The engine is a single cylinder, 125 cubic centimeter lean beast of sorts. That means something, hopefully. It’s like a fancy, more powerful, two wheeled go-kart. Or a motorcycle, if you don’t like labored analogies. 188 miles per gallon! That’s a lot. Me like Moegi. Moegi friend!