Who likes a good buzz in the morning? Everyone. That’s who. The coffee-addicted need to put down their fancy schmancy venti, non-fat chai lattes and do away with the coffee breath for a day.
Instead, piehole meet mai tai donut. The Drunkin Donut out of New York will ship booze-filled baked goods to everyone’s doorstep. Get drunk off their selection of 18 donuts, two truffles, five cupcakes and four cannoli offerings. They’ll even make custom orders like White Russian cupcakes.
Get drunk AND satisfy that sweet tooth. This is what’s called, ‘progress’.
It’s a good thing these coasters weren’t used as props on the set of Road House with Patrick Swayze, ‘cuz that’d have meant more emphasis on the dialogue. Of course the No Bar Fights beer coasters ($25) rely on your patrons knowing how to read and being easily influenced by coaster slogans, but we fully support this message from the folks at Tanner Goods. Now if they ever make a set of No Dirty Dancing coasters, well, then we might have to rumble.
Any day now Bruce Springsteen is gonna totally write a song about the (partial) shutdown of the Sriracha plant and the plight of its workers– “Times are hard, my future’s lookin’ dicey, Mary Jo’s wonderin’ if we’ll ever make eggs spi-cy (again)”… Better stock up now on all things Sriracha, including this UV Sriracha Vodka ($12). Infused with a zesty mix of chili peppers, garlic and Sri magic, this tonic can surely give your next Bloody Mary a real kick– and a reason for Mary Jo to forge on.
Introducing Future Forward. Ideas yet to hit the marketplace, stewing in someone’s mind or lab somewhere. When they hit though, they’ll make our lives a little better or slightly more swagworthy. And we know everyone can use more swagginess.
This week, beer and cars. Is there really anything else better in life? Just don’t mix the two. Don’t drink and drive. Especially if you have a really expensive car.
1. Hangover Free Beer
Who doesn’t want to get plastered without next morning repercussions? Certainly not some scientists in Australia, currently working on hangover free beer. By adding electrolytes, they’ve concocted beer that both hydrates and maintains the pleasant qualities of beer, i.e. beer goggles and regretful decisions. According to the folks at Griffith University’s Health Institute, the electrolytes mean you can even drink beer after a workout to replenish lost liquid.
I believe it was Plato who said, “I do not think you are ready for this jelly.” And never has that phrase been truer than with Puff’s Preserves Boozy Jam. From the Blood Orange and Fig Port Vanilla Jam, to Sour Cherry Almond Amaretto, there’s an array of delightfully adult spreads to savor. The Blackberry Bourbon Lavender Jam is made with Peach Street Distiller’s bourbon, while the Raspberry Chipotle Jam uses Stranahan’s Rocky Mountain whiskey. Your move, peanut butter.
Deciding whether or not to indulge in that 2nd or 3rd beer before hitting the road is often a dicey proposition. Of course you could always start drinking O’Doul’s, but then again, you could also start DVRing The View—not happening. The Lapka Breath Alcohol Monitor removes all of the guesswork about your sobriety. Just blow into the stylish palm-fitting device and sound waves will actually speak to your smartphone, showing you just how safe it is for you to drive.
If A1 has lost all its luster with you, and just the thought of a dry rub instantly makes your thighs chafe, it might be time to open your palate up to a more daring array of flavors. Todd of Todd’s Concoctions appears to be part culinary genius, part Deliverance banjo player. Why do we say that? Because any man that creates sauces ($14.39 each) called Ink Cayenne, Tobacco Moonshine, Marshmallow Smoke, Root Beer Pickle, Chewing Gum Tobacco and Cola Leather clearly is a loose cannon. And that just might be a good thing.
The flask has been around since… well, we’re not sure, but it’s been a damn long time. Point is, chugging booze out of a Smart Flask — now with a built-in heart rate monitor! — just sounds silly. The Great American Flask ($195) is anything but silly. It’s hand-soldered out of pure copper and lined using a traditional hot-tinning method. It’s made in Chattanooga, TN, and holds nine ounces of the stuff that cures what ails ya. Save the tech for the phones and watches–leave the flasks alone.