Canon EOS 70D DSLR: Stay Focused

A quick chug of Red Bull might help you stay focused, but pouring it over your camera rarely works as well. Canon’s forthcoming EOS 70D promises to rewrite the rules when it comes to autofocus. The new “Dual Pixel CMOS” focusing system is expected to nail every focus transition, picking up subjects quickly and smoothly, ostensibly giving filmmakers a pass on their manual focus ring skills. The 70D body will go for $1,199, or pick it up with the 18-55 STM lens for $1,349, or 18-135 STM lens for $1,549.

Canon Rebel SL1: Your DSLR Is So Tiny…

Hey Canon, your DSLR Is SO tiny, Verne Troyer lost it in his shirt pocket! Ah yes, the Rebel SL1 may inspire a new round of jokes, but that’s kind of the goal. The fact that this is the world’s smallest and lightest DSLR is the clear bragging point here for Canon. But if the specs were as small as the body, it wouldn’t be much of an accomplishment–they’re not. From the 18 megapixel CMOS APS-C sensor to  the front dial and dedicated ISO, exposure compensation and AF/AE lock buttons, there’s a lot of full-sized camera to be had in this small package. It goes on on sale next month for $799.

Canon 6D: Full Frame Consumer DSLR

Professional photographers get to take picture of blushing brides, precocious toddlers, and sometimes… naked ladies. If you’re gonna pull off this hat trick, you can’t whip a smartphone out of your pocket and begin shooting. Invest in the new Canon 6D ($2,099) and use the 20.2MP full-frame sensor and 11-point autofocus system to take shots that allow you to say things like “Now feed him some cake!”, “Throw the ball, Jacob!” and possibly “OK, Linda, now just undo that robe.”

Fotodiox Canon 7D Crystal 2/3 Replica

We all cherish our pictures, but how many of us cherish the actual device that saves our precious moments? Not enough, I say. Begin your overdue worship of the almighty camera with the Fotodiox Canon 7D Crystal Replica ($60), a gorgeous keepsake that’s built to 2/3 of the original shooter’s size. Hand-crafted and made of premium grade crystal, the intricate details will astound you and show others that at least you know a little something about respect, OK?

Canon EOS M

Your new year’s resolution to take more “tastefully nude” photos of your girlfriend has stalled, because every time she’s in the mood, you need 15 minutes to set up your fancy camera. By that time, she’s come to her prudish senses. Well, Canon’s EOS M ($800) is ready to help you out with that. Canon’s first mirrorless interchangeable-lens camera means superb quality in a much smaller form factor, plus the ability to swap lenses. Cuz let’s face it, sometimes you need that zoom lens for the girl down the street.

Canon EOS-1D C: 4K DSLR Camera

The videophile’s thirst for a sharper picture doesn’t end at 1080P–oh no. That’d be like ending the quest for porn after finding the bra & panty section of a Sears catalog. If you’ve got the coin, you can get cracking on the whole 4K thing right now with the Canon EOS-1D C ($15,000), a DSLR camera that shoots at an eye-blistering resolution of 4096 x 2160. What do you watch it on? Well, Canon has you covered there as well with a new “industrial” 30-inch 4K display being shown this week at the National Association of Broadcasters Show in Las Vegas. When 4K porn hits the streets, we’ll let you know.

Perfect Prizes for the Primary Politicians

Super Tuesday 2012, the Super Bowl of the Republican Primary, hits today. Watch the candidates outdo each other as they tell us which bold new programs and promises they’ll ultimately fail to implement if elected. Who will fail us the least? Now’s the time to choose.

In honor of the combatants, we’ve assembled the perfect prize for each candidate to take home should they win. Delegates? We fart on your delegates. This is the real competition, my friend. Click through to read So Freaking Cool’s “Perfect Prizes for the Primary Politicians”.

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Canon EOS 5D Mark III

Like Rocky vs. Apollo Creed (unless, of course, we’re past the Rocky II timeline), the battle between Nikon’s D800 and the Canon 5D Mark III has all the makings of a 12-rounder (unless, of course, it’s one of those 15-round fights). The 5D Mark III is now making its way to the ring, with its redesigned autofocus system, 22.3-megapixels, and gapless micro lenses meant to do a better job of bringing light into the photo diodes. Shipping later this month, the 5D Mark III will cost $3,500 for the body, or $4,300 for the body and a 24-105 F4L IS lens. The lens, by default, is playing the role of Mickey the trainer in this uninspired analogy.