Brainwave, A USB-Powered Microwave

Work chains you at your desk and forces you to inhale lunch before whipping you back to work. We understand, how do you think this site works?? Even trips to the kitchen take time. Don’t let the boss get his hands on this or else you’ll never leave your cubicle. It’s a USB-powered microwave. Designer Steve Gates came up with it and called it the “Brainwave”. Pop your tray of limp veggies and sad meat into the Brainwave and it automatically senses the size before heating it to the right temperature. The Brainwave still hasn’t moved past the concept phase so you still have time not to hate your work even more.

Nutella Finger Condoms

Safe dipping. It’s paramount. Do you know how many diseases you’ll transfer dipping an unsheathed index finger into jars of Nutella or jam? You need this Nutella Finger Condom. Get this now, or you can always wrap your finger in plastic wrap. That’s not as cool though.

Fried Chicken Candle: Can You Smell What Kentucky Is Cooking?

Driving to KFC for the smells is like, I dunno, listening to Pink for the deep lyrics. Point is, the entrancing aromas of fried chicken are best served in the home, and if you’re afraid of hot grease splatters in your nether regions (you do cook naked, right?), you’re gonna need one of these Fried Chicken Candles. Handmade by Kentuckian Kathy Werking, the recipe calls for actually frying up some chicken in natural soy wax, then adding a special blend of ‘family secrets.’ Want more Kentucky? The vanilla-bourbon and mint combo of Kentucky Derby is also available.

Leftover Swap App: Hey, You Want The Rest Of This?

Those Cheesecake Factory feasts always seem doable at first, but when your mind drifts to dessert, dinner usually gets the doggie bag treatment. But maybe you don’t have a dog (or an appetite for leftovers). That’s where the Leftover Swap rushes to your aid. Just take a picture of your leftovers, upload it to the app, and fellow app users will be notified of this late breaking culinary bulletin. From there you can make things even weirder by arranging a pickup or delivery with said food-seeker. Don’t forget to ask if he wants ketchup with that.

Fat Boys Pizza Box Vinyl Reissue

Consider yourself lucky if you grew up in the era of the Fat Boys. The Human Beat Box, Kool Rock Ski, and Prince Markie Dee had more fun with their beats & rhymes than all other rappers combined from the years 2000-20012. They were never shy about their love of food (trans fats hadn’t been invented yet), so it’s only fitting that a reissue of the Fat Boys debut album is released on vinyl–inside a pizza box. This chunky set comes with a 20-page liner notes booklet and a download card for bonus materials.

5 (Asinine) Tips for a Super Summer

It never fails. The thermometer hits 85 and TV newscasters bombard us with doomsday warnings about killer jellyfish and deadly potato salad drive-bys. But man, summer only lasts two months! It needs to be sucked dry of all its fun juice, and sucked fast and hard. Ditch the nagging naysayers and click “Next” to pump up your summer fun!

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Made in America Skillets

For the foodies and cooks out there, you know how great cast iron pans can be. If only you could cook your steak on the state of Texas though. Well, FeLion Studios heard your call and answered it 48 times. They present their “Made in America” pans, cast iron skillets fashioned to resemble all 48 states. Wait, aren’t there 50 states though? Go pound sand, Alaska and Hawaii, we talkin’ CONTIGUOUS states. Oh snap! You ain’t contiguous, Alaska and Hawaii! *waves hand in front of face* Each pan varies in price, and hang them on your wall once you collect them all. Just don’t show your Alaskan and Hawaiian friends.

Mini Donut Factory

Hiring 19 semi-legal immigrants, renting out your garage, and giving them a “Deep Fryers for Dummies” book seemed like a good way to get hot and fresh donuts on demand–that is, until “The Incident.” Put those disturbing memories behind you with the new Automatic Mini Donut Factory ($179.99) from Nostalgia Electrics. Move over defibrillator, this little lifesaving device takes raw batter and churns out tasty treats within 90 seconds, making 30 per batch with a cute little “donut slide” topping it all off. Drizzle them with icing or sprinkle with powdered sugar–just the way Sergei liked them. RIP Sergei.