Sony A7: Fresh Full-Frame Fun

Like a mama seal watching her pup balance its first ball on its nose, Sony is proudly introducing its A7 and A7R cameras, calling them “the world’s smallest full-frame interchangeable lens models.” Weighing just a pound or so each, it’s quite impressive that the A7 (body only $1,700) and A7R bring full-frame sensors to the table, and thus much better low light performance than smaller sensor cameras. It’s the breakthrough equivalent of the aforementioned seal growing legs, then flipper-dribbling that ball between those shiny wet gams.

Sony Xperia Z1: Totally Not Afraid Of Toilets

My Uncle Charles had a lifelong fear of toilets. Maybe it was due to that unfortunate incident with a water moccasin and his “dangling plums” as he called them. I’m not sure. These days most people fear toilets for their magnetic pull on smartphones—one of the worst ways to end a call. But the Xperia Z1 laughs in the face of fecal water, as Sony’s forthcoming device is waterproof up to nearly 5 feet. The other noteworthy thing about this phone, aside from its slick, 5-inch Full HD screen, is the 20..7 megapixel camera. Just think of the clarity in those um, underwater shots!

Sony QX Smart Lens: When Your Phone Needs A Strap On

Will smartphones ever rival a quality camera? Will Matthew McConaughey ever make a movie with his shirt on? As we wait for the answers to these burning questions, Sony is offering a pair of alternatives to the former dilemma. The QX100 ($500) and QX10 ($250) bring big juicy sensors to your smartphone via NFC technology or Wi-Fi pairing. The QX100 has a 1-inch-type 20.2-megapixel Exmor R CMOS sensor paired with a Bionz image processor, along with a Carl Zeiss-branded 3.6x f1.8-4.9 28-100mm zoom lens. It attaches to your phone with a spring clip, though you can also use it without your phone if you wanna get bold. The QX10 offers a bigger zoom lens but smaller sensor. Both devices come with their own batteries, so you won’t drain your phone’s juice.

PlayStation 4: It’s A Thing, But It’s A Thing You Can’t See Yet

Sony has made it official: The PlayStation 4 is real and it’s coming. Holiday 2013 to be vaguely exact. But what it looks like, how much it will cost, and whether it will finally render all communications with females obsolete is still unknown. What we do know is the PS4 will feature a DualShock 4 that looks a lot like previous PlayStation controllers, with some notable additions including a small touchscreen, “light bar” to be used in conjunction with a camera accessory, built-in headphone jack, and “Share” button to let you stream and upload videos of your gaming exploits.

Some tech specs to throw at you (just nod and pretend you know what this means, that’s what we do): 8GB of system memory, X86 CPU, 8 CPU cores, and 2 teraflops of computational performance. Software you say? Sony’s touting titles like Killzone: Shadow Fall, Driveclub, Second Son, Watch Dogs, The Witness, Diablo III (also coming to the PS3), and Bungie’s new effort Destiny. Your move, Intellivision.

Sony Xperia Tablet Z: Skinny Love

A lot of tablet makers are seemingly afraid to take on the iPad, choosing to go low-budget instead of high-performance. But Sony appears willing to pick a fight with Apple courtesy its new Xperia Tablet Z. Normally us skinny guys aren’t exactly big brawlers, but when it comes to tablets, slim wins. The Z weighs in at just 1.09 pounds and at just 0.27 inches thick, it currently owns the crown for world’s thinnest. The 10.1-inch 1080p display is powered by a 1.5 GHz quad-core processor and 2 GB of RAM while running Android 4.1 Jelly Bean. But the toughness doesn’t stop there. Like the Xperia Z smartphone Sony announced at CES, the Xperia Tablet Z is also waterproof and dustproof. That means you can spill pickle juice on it and umm, leave it under your couch for 11 weeks?

Sony Waterproof Sports Walkman MP3 Player: Withstands Toilet Water And More!

I can’t tell you how many bullies dunked my head in the toilet in middle school. Too many. And while toilet water always tasted better than Crystal Light, it’s still was far from the ideal lunchtime beverage (chocolate milk). But even worse than the taste of that torture was the fact that my headphones would always get ruined in the ruckus. Thankfully, Sony has come up with a solution. The Walkman Sports MP3 Player features a brilliant design as it combines the 4GB MP3 player with the headphones seamlessly, letting you just wrap it over your ears and go. And yes, it’s waterproof up to 2 meters, so unless there are some new toilets with 7-foot bowls out there, you’ll be totally set for a new round of head-dunks and wedgies.

Sony A99: Sony Reenters Full Frame Market

Like that Little Leaguer who strikes out his first two times up, then says “Aha! So I’m supposed to be using one of these ‘bats’, and not my arm!” Sony is swinging for the fences in its return to full-frame cameras. The Alpha SLT-A99 is a feature-laden, video-friendly shooter that promises a much better autofocus system, HDMI output, and more. The 24.3mp Exmor CMOS 14-bit sensor should be great for capturing magic moments… like when your son realizes he can use a glove – not his mouth – to catch the ball. Tears of joy, man.

Sony Bluetooth Speaker: SRS-BTV5 for short

It has a cool egg shape, but as far as we know, Sony’s SRS-BTV5 has nothing else in common with chicken embryos. That’s probably a positive for most people. This funky little  music-playing/call-handling Bluetooth speaker requires just a tap of your smartphone to the device to pair it up. As you’re bumpin’ your beats,  if a call comes in, the music automatically fades down and the speakerphone takes over. On the downside, the SRS-BTV5 tastes horrible with bacon.