Shell Stool

Jake Phipps, a British furniture designer, came up with the Shell Stool ($350). When you sit on these bullet casings stools, they fire a blast of manhood up your butt. like that, don’t you? If not, perhaps you prefer planting flowers with shotguns.

The Q1 Geometric Chair: Perfect for Math Lovers

Chairs. Such endless designs for the simple function of sitting. Ukrainian design house Odesd2 brings us this Q1 Chair ($1200), a geometric-patterned chair whose “spherical shape..provides the most comfortable and natural fit.” Upright, upside down, side to side, one leg over the other. No, that doesn’t describe your dance style. Those are a few of the endless positions to experience in this forward-thinking design piece. 

Eames Molded Wood Chair: 3-D Seating!

The chair champs at Herman Miller have tapped into the world of 3-D for their newest seat, the Eames Molded Wood Chair ($TBA). No glasses required for the company’s 3-D veneer technology as it apparently gives its wood veneer the “flexibility it needs to be molded into the complex curves of a single shell.” Choose from three veneers for the wood shell, including white ash, walnut, and santos palisander, which sounds really fancy and possibly capable of bringing you to a 4th dimension as well.

Plank Lounger by Eric Pfeiffer: Sit The Plank

Despite the strong effort by pirates, walking the plank never really caught on. The reason? Too much walking. People prefer to sit. Now sitting (on) the plank–that’s progress. And designer Eric Pfeiffer knows it; that’s why he created the Plank Lounger. Sit slow and low with this fine piece of furniture made from weather-treated pine slats and a white powder coated steel frame. It’s simple. Clean. Comfortable. And it involves absolutely no walking.

Bardi Bowl Chair: Sitting Pretty

Italian-Brazilian architect Bo Bardi designed this stylish seat for her own home, but it never went production until now. 500 pieces are being made, so if you’d like to look as cool as you possibly can in your beer-stained boxers, act fast. Just remember “cool as you possibly can” still doesn’t exactly mean cool.

Maserati Lounge Chair: Slower Than The Car, But Comfier

Can one truly enjoy soft Italian leather under their buttocks while they’re doing 115 mph down the freeway? Eh, maybe, but you can certainly enjoy it more when that sweet supple seat is situated in front of a 60″ plasma with a frosty beverage in hand. The sleek lines of the new Maserati Quattroporte served as inspiration for the Maserati Lounge Chair ($5,000). It was designed by Italian design firm Zanotta for the renowned automaker, who in turn designed it for your rump. Well that was nice of them.

1950′s Sling Chair

Sitting has long been looked down upon, but to date, we have no convincing reason why. It yields many benefits. For example,  it’s the number one way to watch television and  it’s also the primary pastime of sanitarium residents. This slate leather 1950’s Sling Chair ($899 – $1975), laced to a trestle frame, is perhaps the best thing that sitting has to offer. The shape of the chair’s semi-recumbent posture encourages health and assists in curing those recurring bouts of insanity that are scaring your family. Also available in a variety of leathers.

CP Lounge Chair: The Return of Charles Pollock

Charles Pollock created the 1963 Pollock Executive for Knoll, one of the most popular office chairs of all time. If it wasn’t for him, the cast of Mad Men would be sitting on stacks of phone books, and that would make Christina Hendrick’s life-changing cleavage that much harder to scope, so how about you fork over a little bit of praise for this 82-year-old pioneer? After years of staying away from furniture design, Pollock is back with the CP Lounge Chair, a low-slung, aerodynamic number that features hand-sewn leather panels on a polished stainless steel frame. Take a seat on this and you may never get up off your keester, duff, or other similarly safe-sounding synonyms for ass again.